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"I got more views in one hour than I got in a month." -Mariano
"Give a man your points, he'll travel cheap for a day.
Teach a man to earn his own points, he'll travel cheap for a lifetime"
--Unknown Travel Guru
The picture above was taken in Lima, Peru from the runway of the Jorge Chavez International Airport.
I’m 32, and last week I retired.
Maybe retirement isn’t the right word. If there’s a word that means, “I’m free to live the life of my dreams,” I’m that.
Three years ago I joined a tech startup and have been extremely busy with that. This last year or two I’ve been struggling with a growing sense of dissatisfaction with my life, however. By all appearances I was an amazing success story. Here was a guy who dropped out of high school to live in the woods, been homeless for a stretch, and was now living the high life as an international businessman. We had been successful enough to provide an extremely luxurious lifestyle: 500,000 miles of first class flights around the world (for meetings), the finest luxury hotels, Michelin star restaurants, and some really fancy clothes.
The more money I made, the more things I felt I needed to be happy. This is the problem with things. They don’t really “make” you happy, and there’s always a cooler, more expensive “thing” that becomes your new target of satisfaction. It’s known as the Hedonic treadmill, and it’s why there are so many miserable millionaires out there. My $5,000 (Bell&Ross) watch was great until I had the $15,000 (Panerai) watch. Next in line was a $40,000 (Audemar) watch.
Just writing this makes me feel like a tool.
Shanghai University of Traditional Chinese Medicine & University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center December 2012
-TJEDNA LISTA ROMANA „GJALSKI“- 07. ožujak 2014.
1. DRAGUTIN TRUMBETAŠ:„PUŠAĆI I NEPUŠAĆI“ (peta knjiga)
So, I've been mostly single for some time now, and just recently I started seriously seeing a girl. This is relevant because up until we became serious I never really gave much thought to explaining or defending my nightly activities of playing EVE and being on comms with friends. It's just what I do, and I'll be honest that most of the time I'm a half naked lump sitting on my office chair whose seat pad is full to the brim of fart dust. Now I'm suddenly dating someone and I find myself wondering... "Is it OK if I play EVE right now?"
This self-questioning inevitably spirals onward because why would I ever deny myself something that I enjoy because of another person. I enjoy this person, so shouldn't they enjoy that I enjoy what I enjoy? Maybe there's something she enjoys that she's not enjoying because she's worried that I wont understand her joy. Clearly, this becomes exhausting and before long I'm too tired to do much else and we do other things.
I love this girl. She's a good one. We have fun, and I don't resent her at all for the obvious disruption in my EVE schedule that's taken place. Truth is I still play, but when she goes to sleep. Nothing is lost. But what's important to me is really just getting it out there that there's something else that I spend ample time with.
So, this is easy, right? Just tell her. But if I tell her, when do I tell her? During lunch? Dinner is for talking about your day, complaining about your job and talking about spaceships, right? No, that doesn't feel right. Lunch maybe sounds better. But we both work, so lunch wont work. Maybe in the morning when we wake up and we're laying in bed. That's perfect. She's comfortable, she's rested and at 6:30 in the morning there's not much sun light coming in through the blinds to cast distracting shadows on the wall while I'm talking about spaceships. But that just might be too early, I thought.
Then I had an idea to plan a date night completely revolving around the idea of just casually bringing up EVE to her at some perfect point. I'd set the kitchen counter all nice with our plastic cutlery and paper plates that do match. I'd put on some music. She'd absolutely love her favorite dish that I'd make for dinner. I'd wash and wear my one polo shirt that I own, and then nothing says I love you and want to share spaceships with you like picking fresh flowers from your neighbor's garden.
Well here we go. A Blog that will be anything I find interesting. This will be a wide topic blog about art, politics, covert operations, design, technology, etc. That's the trip. It's a general shot gun scatter blast thing.
One post a day, big or small. That's the game.
Ethics Statement Warning: I may plagiarize, abscond with ideas from others, misspell words, voice strong opinions, post strong sexual content on occasion...it's art, and many many many other transgressions. To quote Albert Camus, "A man without ethics is a wild beast loosed upon this world." I don't want any rules here. The same applies to you here. No Censorship. Say whatever you want in the comments. Well... I feel kind of liberated already.
free·domˈfrēdəm/nounnoun: freedom 1. 1. the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.
This is a post I've been wanting to write since I started this blog, so buckle your seatbelts, it's a doozy.
I'm a Software Engineer by trade. I never completed college(or even got close). In fact, I've never had a computer class in my life. I learned at a young age that traditional schooling just wasn't for me. I'd spend all of my free time teaching myself things at home, or outright skipping school and hitting the library for the day where I'd read things from art theory all the way to classical mechanics. At the time I wanted to be an artist. I found myself doodling in class constantly, and the tests I turned in were covered with my artwork. Some of my teachers loved that, but most didn't. I was indifferent.
At the time I had an account on an online art community: sheezyart.com. SArt was an awesome place at the time, and had a great, thriving community of amateur animators. Everyone was very supportive of each other, and it was a great environment to improve yourself. Though, sometime in 2008 things started to noticeably go downhill. The moderatorship became corrupt, and because it wasn't a commercial venture, the owner had no real incintive to fix things. In fact, he'd all but left the community entirely, letting the leftover moderators battle amongst themselves. Bugs accumulated in the codebase, really good users were banned for ludicrous reasons, and the community started to fall apart.
When I was fourteen I was enamored with two things: animation and building an animation community. I browsed the Newgrounds programming board constantly, sapping up as much good information as I could. I wanted to make the next newgrounds.com. Little did I know, this teenage fascination would turn out to be the most important thing I could've done with my life at that time.
Every Monday and Wednesday I try to make sure that I share one of the tales I have encountered during my investigations of Wellington Street. However, I have taken ill, making the process increasingly more difficult to complete. It started weeks ago, after my strange and frightening encounter at the local bus stop. It involved a chance meeting with a very ill, and in the end very dangerous woman, a conversation that I later recounted to local police. I had expressed that the experience had left me feeling quite unwell, and unfortunately things have not improved. I have had a chronic headache ever since that night which no over the counter medicine seems to be able to help. I struggle to sleep, and even when I do I awake feeling tired.
The feeling of anxiety and the sense that I am being watched has steadily gotten worse. I find myself frequently looking around me, desperately looking for validation of my fears. I considered several times to simply go to a psychiatrist, but though I am a student I am very much aware of the effect such an action would have on my reputation. Anyway, I know that the source of much of my grief comes from my experience that night. It is not easy to reconcile the fact that the woman I was speaking to so pleasantly had attempted to kill her husband and children only a short while before.
I have gone to a doctor, who has prescribed some sleep aids and some more powerful pain killers. They aren't sure what is wrong yet, though they have already performed numerous tests. They took a blood test, as well as a MRI and a series of x-rays. The only tests that have yet to be performed are a PSG, MSLT, and MWT, which is scheduled for next week. These are all common sleep tests, and should help to narrow down a diagnosis. Hopefully during the next couple of weeks I will get some answers. In the meantime, I have simply had to endure my pain, and it has begun to take a tole.
The madness I encountered that night has left me deeply injured, and the lack of sleep has surely only contributed to the strange and frightening psychosis I am developing. I am sure if I was at least able to get some sleep that I would be able to recover a little. But it has been weeks now, and very little has improved.
There was one experience I had lately that left me feeling much better, at least temporarily. It has been a little over a month since my last visit to Wellington Street, the thought of going back filling me with dread. Despite my fear, I have in truth wanted to go, if for no other reason then to complete some further interviews and research. I have had to mostly conduct my investigations through phone interviews and email, using local sources and careful searches of the internet to help me continue my research. But it was not the same, and over the weeks the desire to go back gradually won out.
One of the books I am currently reading is Walden: Or, Life in the Woods by Henry Thoreau. I have read the first few chapters several times since I was a teenager. Walden was my inspiration to study philosophy, in which I have a bachelor degree. When I left Air Force Basic Training and went to Lowry Air Force Base for technical training, my mother mailed me a box of essential items, which I had prepared before I left home months before. She added Walden to the box. When I called her on the telephone and thanked her for adding that book to the box, she replied, “I thought you might need it.” That showed me that my mother knew me very well, and it made the book even more important to me.
I just read Mr. Thoreau's thoughts on philanthropy. He said that he was not very good at it. He realized that there were those that truly were good at philanthropy, and he was glad that they had that as their calling in life. I got the feeling that he viewed most people that professed the benefits of engaging in philanthropy to be nothing more than busybodies. In response to people that say we should set out with the intent to do good, Mr. Thoreau said that we should set out with the intent to be good. That got me thinking.
It is easy to do good. It is easy to know you have done good. It is easy to show others that you have done good. It is easy for others to know that you have done good. If you are seeking the praise of others, doing good is an easy way to reach your goal. When you receive that praise, you have your reward (The Gospel According to St. Matthew 6:1-4).
The author of The General Epistle of James taught that faith without works is dead (The General Epistle of James 2:20). I assume that he meant good works; therefore, we must do good. Jesus taught that we should do our good works without fanfare or self-promotion. We must do good, but we should do so without seeking the praise of men.
I think many people confuse doing good with being good. Doing good and being good are far from the same quality. It is quite easy to do good without being good. A murderer, while traveling to the home of the intended victim, may stop to save the life of a child. The murder has done good, but is not good (if I may be so bold as to pass judgment on a murderer). I think it is impossible to be good and not intend to do good. The intent to do good would be in the very nature of a person that is good.
Happy New Year 2014 Everyone!
It's a great time to add a few tech resolutions to your todo list. There are many, but these should get you going. They do not take a lot of time and you can complete them easliy
January 1st - Spend 10 minutes and delete all those dumb pictures you snapped on your phone. You know the one of Duck Dynasty Chia Pet you thought that was funny....oh wait that was me. If you posted it to a social site it's backed up there, so don't waste space and time on your phone with it.
January 2nd - Make Sure your iPhone/Android is backing itself up. Takes 10 Seconds to verify that you are backing up and when the last backup was. Do it No Excuse.
January 3rd - Recycle your old electronics - At least put them in a box in the car to take to recycling center. Do you really need 3 VCRs in the basement? What about that old Turntable....yeah yeah.. I hear ya records sound better. No they don't and unless you are harboring a collection of vinyl that you haven't transferred to MP3s and is not available in a digital format, recycle it.