(FAUX NEWS) LONDON – The Olympic games have been a boon to the London economy, reports continue to say but one underreported area that we’ll likely be hearing more about is the flux of badminton injuries suffered by backyard revelers and the money orthopedic surgeons are making as a result.
Reports from one London emergency room state that one out of five injuries are shoulder injuries suffered from amateur badminton players. Said Doctor H.G. Bells, “We suspect that Londoners are so excited at the sports festivities they go to the nearest shop to pickup a badminton set and when they begin playing they swing away like they are fighting off a terrible monster,” The problem the doctor went on to explain is these domicile people are so out of shape even the game of badminton is a strain for them. “People don’t realize they need to be able to rotate their shoulder 120 degrees, most couch potatoes only have a 15 degree of motion from lifting the remote to their telly.”
“I just don’t get it,” said ER nurse Jackie King. “Don’t these people understand they are not athletes.” Administrators at the hospital fear that if the crowds take to water polo there will be serious safety issues in play and encourage anyone extremely out of shape not to begin an exercise program.