Mike Dariano

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Crying in names

’Daddy, I neeeeeed you!’ We are still getting our youngest daughter to sleep well at night. She still sometimes screams going down, getting up, and all times between. It's unfortunate because our oldest needs sleep for school and our plan to ’cry it out’ or ’ferberize’ have largely crumbled. Though we still try and when we do it’s always easier when she screams ’MOMMY!’.

And much harder when it’s ’daddy’. When they yell your name - or equivalent pronoun - it begins to get accusatory. That you, specifically you and not another soul on the face of the earth is ignoring their only request. Logically it shouldn’t be this way. In the silent world of logic I know it's not neglect. Not ignoring. Not bad parenting. But in the logical world babies don't cry. Babies sleep because they play and eat and are tired. In our world, babies cry.

They cry but they also stop. They always stop and they always sleep and it's this, that parents whose names are being sung in the most derogatory one-year-old ways need to remember, it ends and gets better. If you're a parent and your child is screaming your name like they need you more than air it's because to them they do, and as parents we do need that.

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