Mike Dariano


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Republicans search for President Obama's middle school records

Washington DC (Bakersville News) After the White House silenced some of their loudest critics by releasing President Obama's birth certificate, Republican senators have turned their focus in a new direction - his middle school attendance record.

Reporters scouring the Hawiaan records for his birth certificate have come across information that Obama's 8th grade perfect attendance award may have been forged. This controversy has arisen after his 8th grade math teacher responded to a question about the president and reflected: "Barack was a good student, even making up the homework he missed."

"This could be a very serious issue" Speaker of the House Boehner implied: "If that award led to his high school success, which beget law school and then the presidency; it all might be invalidated."

Major news media have begun picking up this story, Glenn Beck claims to have an 8mm film that shows the young president playing basketball on what Beck describes as "clearly it's a school day, clear as day he should have been at school and he obviously wasn't". Beck went on: "Not since the Zapruder film has video evidence been this important."

When asked to comment on these accusations Press Secretary Jay Carney said that the day in question was in fact a Saturday.

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