I have felt the urge to get out more, do more, go on crazy adventures... in order to have interesting things to write about...
... So that internet people would read my books and my blog and say, wow, this guy is really cool.
I just realized this. I love a good adventure, but that is totally backward. I would punch myself in the face for thinking this, but that would hurt, so I won't. But I want to.
I don't even care if internet people like me, or if anyone else does. I really, truly don't. It's just one of those bullshit ego things that somehow lodge themselves in your brain and stay there until you pull them out with a crowbar. Figuratively speaking.
Jesus, how stupid is that.
What I realized comes down to this. There are two sources of inspiration for the creation of any type of creation or art, be it writing or architecture or the nuances of making a handcrafted brazilian pandeiro.
Internal and external.
Most people seek external stimulation as inspiration. Oh, if I did this, that would make for a great story.
But the things we really remember come from that other place.
You don't need more things to happen in your life to create something.
You need to dig deeper within yourself. That's where you'll find something real.
It's much harder to create from the inside out.
Because it's scary as fuck.