Some people are vehemently opposed to the very idea of “faking it until you make it” as a strategy for success -- insisting that you can just play it real and be authentic.
My question, then, is: What the hell does that even mean?
It’s the same as the advice a mother gives her son the first time he’s going to ask a girl out.
“Just be yourself, hon.”
The problem with just being yourself, is that “yourself” is covered with layers and layers of slimy egoic insecurities and self-limiting beliefs.
It’s actually perfectly good advice if you can get past that simple but not-so-easy-to-overcome obstacle.
Look at it this way:
Fundamentally, the difference between success and not-success in anything is behavior.
The results you get in life depend on the actions you take. The actions you take depend on your behaviors, your psychology, your habits, your view of the world and your view of yourself in it, etc.
But, if you are not executing those “successful” behaviors, then you will not achieve that success.
Regardless of what field we’re talking about, by the way. Building a business, connecting with others, playing the piano...
Now, if you don’t perform these behaviors, does that mean they would fall in the category of “not you?”
You bet they would.
The only way to acquire those behaviors is to start doing them.
In other words, faking it until you make it is not just a strategy for success, it is the only way.
There is no alternative.
You could also think of “fake it till you make it” as the idea of deliberately moving beyond your comfort zone.
That’s all that it is.
There is no behavior or way of being that is “inherently you.”
There are only behaviors you execute and those you don’t.
If you try on a new one, it might be uncomfortable at first because you haven’t tried it on before. Much in the same way that it feels awkward the first time you sit down and attempt playing the guitar.
As you keep practicing - the guitar, or a new behavior, or anything else - you will grow more comfortable in that new role.
Looking at it from an ignorant perspective, you might call this “faking it.”
Really, it’s more like doing a new thing that is worth practicing and getting better at.
Moving beyond your comfort zone is a brave thing to do. And that is how you grow as a human being. It’s the only way to do it.
My book explores this in-depth -- the steps you can take and the 7 simple behaviors you can “try on” in order to systematically “unleash” yourself... destroy those weak, self-limiting habits and beliefes, permanently overcome social anxiety and really grow into your true personality so you become magnetically attractive to others.
Check it out on Amazon. It’s dirt cheap and it will change your life.
Writing music: Cherry Wine - Nas ft. Amy Winehouse