Club Fix used to get a lot of patronage from foreigners until they started charging cover. Now, their only relevance is the cheeky photographer with one mission: Getting girls to touch each others augmented breasts.
My favorite shots are from the neck down, and it's not because these Korean club kids are ugly. I like plastic surgery- ugly people get great marginal improvements with just one. But take one too many steps, and you fall into an uncanny valley, and while having a hot, cyborg clone face is better than having an ugly face, it can be a bit unsettling.
Aside from the cleavage and upskirt shots, Fix also runs frequent promotions. So frequently, that they don't have any meaning to me at all. Until they announced the Face-Off Party on February 2013. It was a party for the winners of the Face-Off contest, an essay and photo competition where the goal is to elicit the most sympathy for your ugliness. What more is there to know?
Stakes: High. Self-Respect: Low. Let's do this.
Here are some of my favorite pictures from the party, along with the grand prize winner's essay and translation. Props to all the entrants for having the humility to admit their ugliness. Too many ugly people walking around with oversized egos these days.
Sponsored by Barbie Face Plastic Surgery Clinic
What, you thought I was making this shit up?
She carried a pair of big ugly bags in case the ones on her face weren't enough.
Voting on the winners
"Sadgurl" Consolation prize/ not ugly enough to win any money
"Mileena Demurred", Runner Up, Prize: $2,500.
2nd place, prize: $4,000. Apparently Face-Off is corrupt as fuck, because this filthy norm has no business in this competition, let alone placing in it. She's even more normal-looking in her other pictures, bordering on pretty. It's more than just offensive, it's an injustice. But what do you expect when you host a competition in the same country that robbed Roy Jones Jr. of his gold in the '92 Olympics?
The finalists, showing off their best assets.
And the Grand Prize Face-Off winner of four hundred million KRW, "The Black Swan"
Now that my friends, is the face of a true champion.
This was her winning essay, with translation from Bing (I'll be damned, but their translation was better than Google's)
클럽픽스 페이스오프 파티
(대상) 4,000만원 상당의 풀페이스/풀바디 성형혜택을 받으신
'수니짱' 님 사연입니다.
부끄럽기도하고 한편으로는 평생의 소원을 이룬
이번 파티 '대상' 자 입니다
오늘 같이갔던 친구 말을 듣고 진짜 마지막
혹시나 될까? 하는 생각으로 사연을 적어서
저는 어렸을때는 턱이 돌출되지 않았었는데
중학교 들어가면서부터 턱뼈가 함께 자라며
긴턱때문에 거울을 보며 스트레스를 받는일은
여중이었지만 친구들이 장난이지만 턱으로
농단하는게 어린맘에 너무 큰 상처가 되었습니다.
그렇게 긴턱은 제 삶에서 크나큰
그후로 거울을 볼때마다 쌍커풀없는 눈도 미웠고
코도 미웠고 그냥 제자신이 못나보이고 보기가
새로운 사람과 대변할때도 마찬가지로 턱부터
신경쓰여 항상 턱을 가리고 다니는게 버릇이
이놈의 콤플레스는 고등학교때까지도 따라서
고등학교는 남녀공학을 나왔는데
남자애들은 시도때도없이 턱가지고 놀려대었고,
그말을 하도 많이들어서인지 그냥 웃고 넘겼지만
선생님까지 시험치는 시간에 오엠알카드를
"너는 턱이 왜그러냐?찔리겠다"라며 반
그때 또 한번의 마음에 큰상처를 받았고
턱때문에 자살하고 싶다는 생각이 너무너무 많이
그후로 턱이야기에 저는 더 예민해지고
그때마다 밀려오는 자괴감은 더 말할것도
철이없어 그리 좋은 형편이 아닌 저희집에서
왜 수술하나 못해주냐고 울며불며 부모님 가슴을
대학교에 들어간 후 친구들이 직접적으로 턱에
대해 발언을 한적은 없었지만
문득 문득 들려오는 소리에 씁씁했지만 내꼴이
이러니까 어쩔수 없이 들어야하는소리구나..라고
생각하고 포기하며 살아왔습니다.
또 머리는 턱도 길고 이마도 넓어서 앞머리를
없애는건 꿈도 못꾸는거고
긴생머리에 웨이브머리를 하고싶어도 기르는 동안
어중간한 머리길이가 얼굴을 더 길어보이게해서
항상 단발머리에 파마를하고 다녔습니다.
오늘 클럽픽스에서 예뻐질수있는 기회를 주셨습니다.
이렇게 찾아온 꿈만같은 기회에 진짜 너무 너무 감사드립니다..
턱때문에 평생 마음이 아파야했던 저에게 평생의
소원을 이루어준 기회였습니다...
예뻐지면 꼭 해보고싶던게 긴웨이브머리에
3개월뒤 머리기는만큼해서 사과머리를 해볼생각에 너무 기쁩니다!
이뻐지는 기회를 주셔서 감사합니다 정말....
아직도 얼떨떨하고 꿈만같지만,
한편으로는 3개월뒤 너무너무 예뻐진 제산이
새삶의 기회를주신 픽스 관계자 여러분, 또 못난
얼굴에 예뻐지라고 투표해주신 많은분들 정말
다들 감기조심하시고 복받으세요!!
현재 수니짱 의 글은
조회수 3,000 을 넘겼으며 추천수는 200 을 넘어섰습니다.
Club Fix Face-Off Party
Received the benefits of a full body molding (target) 4,000 won worth of Full Face /
I am ashamed to pray and then lifelong wish
This is the ' target ' party party
Today I went with a friend to hear the real last
I think the opportunity is
Was hoping for? I think to write down stories as
The real Bell ...
When I was younger, I had this Chin did not extrude
Just before entering junior high school from the jaw bone grows together
Sol exodus as changed.
Looking in the mirror because a long jaw, stress
I've only gone
It was friends of the prank but as Chin
Nong Don has been a little like that too big a cut.
So long had a huge positive impact in the lives of my Chin
Acomplia in Reston and
Thereafter whenever you see in the mirror doesn't have eyes, and myrrh double-fold eyelid
Koh also said u.s. and just couldn't seem to view me myself
Again, from the Chin to speak for new people
You can always minding the veils around the Chin to habit
Have been made.
These guys are Gareth Acomplia of high school until this
Did men and women engineering high school
Also try the boys tried to play with was on the Chin, without
He also heard a lot of talking and just laughing occurs
Teacher until trial time o m Al card
"You'll know why the jaw stuck?" van
Said in front of the children.
Then once again took a big wound in the heart
Want to commit suicide because the Chin idea delighted much
Thereafter the jaw becomes more on the story
There was no number laughed
Not to mention that whenever enough surge more
There was no.
The iron off and not so great in our House, not
Why can't one day surgery and weeping parents and chest on fire
There were never hurt.
After entering the University of friends directly on the Chin
Few remarks about Fazer
Suddenly, suddenly heard the sound, let us not forget, but my look
This is exactly why I'm hear to listen helped ...Says
Thinking of giving up and come alive.
Moreover, even a long forehead too wide to the Chin hair bangs
Get rid of anything, not even going to dream of a dream
At the head of the long-wave head and wanted to foster while
Medium hair length look longer at faces
Always hair perm and bouncing around.
Today the Club a chance to be pretty good in the pics.
So how unreal the same opportunity to appreciate the real so so. ..
Chin had a lifetime's heart aches because of the makes me a lifetime
It was an opportunity that gave wishes ...
Want to try, just like the floor was pretty long wave hair
Apple was going to head!!
Three months after the head is as much as I think I am happy too to see the Apple head!
Thank you for the opportunity to look really ....
Still terrified and thrilled, unreal, Earl
On the other hand, was delighted after three months of pretty Jean my mountain
New life has given us the opportunity to fix official folks, another nerdy
In the face of pretty said as many who vote really
I won't forget this favor!!
Get cold everybody watch your stomach!!
Don't you just love it when the truth is stranger than fiction?