Luxy is the premier club of Taipei. Big acts like Snoop Dogg, Infected Mushroom, Armin Van Buuren play here every now and then. They even host MMA fights. It's just seconds away from Zhongxiao Dunhua exit 2, on the 5th floor of the Zara building.
Luxy runs a tight ship, but their system isn't anything out of the ordinary. When you go to Luxy, this is how it works. Get to the ID check on the first floor before 11:30 for discounted cover. It's like $300NT (10 USD) for guys and you get two drinks. All these clubs discount cover for girls. Get your stamp, and then get drunk somewhere cheap, for example the 7/11 right next door. 7/11s are popular pregaming spots in Taiwan, there's no shame in it. There will probably be more people drinking at 7/11s than Luxy before midnight, anyway.
From the second you get out of the elevator, you're immersed in this green laser cube. The first thing I thought was “whoa, this is cool as fuck.” The second thing was, “This room is big, dark, and empty, perfect to bring people back to make out in.”
Luxy's main floor has plenty of room to dance, mingle, fuck, especially when people start getting on stage. The music is generally good. They do play the popular hits, but the Djs at least know enough to play Deadmau5, Duck Sauce, Steve Aoki, Arty, Mat Zo, even Crystal Method. The main room visualizer is unimpressive- it's just a logo, but there are plenty of lasers and lights which almost makes up for it. Luxy does have a great performance team however. They'll bring out all sorts of dancers, usually girls with big breasts and little waists or less often, guys in light suits.
Luxy is best when it gets packed because it is very spacious. There are two more rooms to the left, on the first and second floor with plenty of dance floor and seating. The bottom room's visualizer is a bunch of pixels flying around. It's incredibly basic and still nothing too exciting, but at least it's more dynamic than a logo fading in and out. Both side rooms cater to the Trance and Electro crowd. If you brought Stacy with you, either of the two side rooms are where you'll be dancing for hours. Naturally, neither room gets much traffic and there are some pretty clutch places to fingerbang or suck a dick.
Note: Towards the back-left of the first floor side room, there's a small crevice that opens to an all white room. It is NOT just a private room. I tried to fuck someone in that room and it was a really bad idea. That's the boss's room, so if you do catch a glimpse of it, don't go in there.
All clubs in Taiwan close at 4, Luxy's no different. There'll be a couple sausage vendors waiting outside if you didn't get enough meat inside the club (more on these devious fuckers later). But don't count on it- Luxy's design is very friendly towards picking up girls and guys. There's a lot of public standing, seating, and dancing space, so you won't feel poor if you don't have a table.
I went to Luxy with everyone in our crew for their 'Epic Wednesdays!' event (it was on a Wednesday). I had a great time, but it was anything but epic. Brett, Jamie, and John left early, John's friend was looking fine and so was her friend, but she didn't bring Katie or Stacy. I got drunk, creeped around and made out with a virgin. She wouldn't let me touch her clit, which was so gay it gave me a headache. PG-13 Wednesdays doesn't sound as cool I guess.
Saturday was a different story. I met Dan at the door, when this smoking hot woman wearing just enough makeup starts talking to him in Spanish. It's his friend, Paloma, who claimed to be 34, but she has a half-Taiwanese kid going to college somewhere. Not that I cared, her real age was somewhere between PYT and MILF. This dress she was wearing was pure class. White, with a black fishnet window down the middle that could've been a fire hazard. I would have fucked her husband to fuck her. Mexico had just beaten Brazil and there were all these drunk Latinos showing up that knew Dan somehow. The night was off to a good start.
1:05PM, Dan pulls me aside. “You don't need your drink tickets, tonight we drink for free. My friend's girlfriend's friend is having a birthday, I don't know who's paying but not us.” Upstairs we go.
Birthday girl starts draining whiskey into our mouths and I don't even know her name. Her petite friend sidles up next to me and oh, she's a nurse. Everyone upstairs seems to think we're cool because of all the carcinogens at our table. I'm lapping it up, the booze and the attention. Some jacked Taiwanese guy arrives with the birthday cake and people go crazy.
1:25PM Dan pulls me aside. “You can take my keys. She just said something about how she's going to feel like a pedophile when she takes me home tonight.” Why do I not speak Spanish? I regret squandering my time in Ms. Eyzaguirre's class staring at her ass. It's not even 1 when they leave.
The second bottle comes around and now all the girlfriends are pouring in faster than the liquor. After two consecutive nights of all-you-can-drink clubs it doesn't dawn on me that we don't have unlimited bottles, and somebody's paying for this. Thank god the thought doesn't last. A girl on the balcony is shaking her ass like there aren't enough dicks in there, so I go and introduce myself. We sit down and do the whole what's your name, what's your sign. She cleans birthday cake off my finger and we down a g I'm doing: I don't mix whiskey with Coke because sugar's bad for you, but I guess I've got no problem with whiskey and cake. Subtle changes, big differences.
I thought this girl was pretty when I saw her from behind, but when she turned around and looked at me slow, I straight up fell in love. One look from her and I knew I wanted the sex between us to be consensual tonight. She had a sexy, pink pile of face labia that were probably very helpful in aiding with digestion. We slutted on eachother in every room like it was our duty. I knew I was going home with this buxom bitch, but god damn, every girl in this club must have synced up and started ovulating because I was catching girls eyeraping my ass left and right. Where were these girls on Wednesday? A classic case of poor resource allocation.
I told her let's go for some anal, and she went to say bye to her friend. Home girl was making out with this dick-in-the-box looking kid from Cali taking a break from teaching English in Japan. We circlejerked about how awesome our lives are and how shitty America has become, until I was like “aiight, peace bro, ps can I borrow a condom? PSYCH, rubbers are for nerds!”
Q. When is Luxy open?
A. Every night but Monday and Tuesday.
Q. Are the girls at Luxy hot?
A. Hotter than my dick is when I piss and it burns.
Q. Are the people there mostly Taiwanese?
A. Every venue is mostly Taiwanese, but Luxy is the most popular club for the 2%. It's the most popular club in Taiwan.
Q. Who are Katie and Stacy?
A. Come on guy, get with it.
Directions to Luxy: Zhongxiao Dunhua (East Road) exit two. Make a U-turn coming out of the exit, and walk into the arcade of the Zara's building, past the Starbucks. ID check is on your right.