Going from Korea to Taiwan was like night and day when it came to the people. Taiwan is very welcoming towards foreigners, whereas Koreans find us to be a bit of a nuisance. Let's be honest, the US Army hasn't made a good impression on Korea, what with all the rapes and whatnot. Whatever the reason, one of the best parts about my trip to Taiwan was how nice the people were. Despite my Beijing accent (Taiwanese are extremely nationalist and not found of China) and Dan's almost complete absence of Mandarin, we were both treated very well by the Taiwanese. And I don't just mean I got my dick sucked. Everyone was warm and friendly in general, but one particular incident stands out to me.
On Friday I was waiting in line for the ATM when I started getting REALLY horny. Like, dripping precum horny. I began creeping on the girl next to me, first in English (unsuccessfully), then in Mandarin. Could you imagine if some goofy fuck with a boner just started talking to you in a foreign language? You'd probably do whatever's the opposite of suck his dick. But either I have some killer game or Taiwanese girls are awesomely awesome, because she and her friend waited for me to finish up at the ATM, and then took Brett and I on a food and shopping tour of Ximending for the next five hours.
Sunny and Vivian
They took us to Ah Zong Mian Xian to eat rice-flour noodles with bonito flakes and bits of large intestine (instead of oyster). Google it if you want to see how famous this kitchen is. I sat on a stool and used some guy's bike as a table, but to get the authentic experience you need to stand around slurping the boiling hot vermicelli sweating your ass off. They don't call it by the Chinese name, it's Mee Sua in Taiwanese.
Next they brought us to eat Tianbula. I told them we were thirsty, and they asked me what I wanted to drink. I told them to surprise me, and they scurried away while we ate in peace. Brett was like, "Damn, you got us some fucking servants," but I was like nahh man, Taiwanese people are just real cool. They returned with frog egg tea. It's nothing crazy, just some bubble tea with a hint of lemon, but it's a popular Taiwanese drink. Synonyms for yapioca balls include frog eggs, pearls, and bubbles. The only surprising thing about that was their lack of creativity.
Vivan and Sunny turned out to be IT engineers starting their junior year, but they could've been high school kids, especially the one with the super high pitched voice. I have trouble telling how old Koreans are, but man Taiwanese people are all over the place. None of us had an idea how old anybody was.
At the end of our little tour, they brought us to a bookstore and told us to browse around while they waited in line to get us some lu gai. Talk about hospitality.
Salty cream and green tea, a deliciously odd mixture.
I tried to get these girls to come out with us / fellate me, but they had curfews. At 20 years old, these girls had curfews, I couldn't believe that shit! Instead, they agreed to come spend Saturday with us in Tamsui, the illest city to the North.
Tamsui is a wonderful little city, and deserves a post of its own. Unfortunately, I have no pictures from our time there, as we were hungover. The idea is this- crowded streets lined wall to wall with markets and foods. When you're done with the main street, turn left to the waterfront, and you'll have miles of park, a view of the nearby island, and again, an endless array of restaurants and street food. You can eat snacks, go on a boat, tell racist jokes, Tamsui is the perfect place for a date.
Skip the shitty hostel breakfast and make sure you're starving when you arrive there. The girls took us to a famous massage house. It's run by a Taiwanese celeb-singer, and they employ blind people, which is a sure sign that they're top notch. You see, China and Taiwan have government-sponsored training programs for the blind, who have developed a reputation as the most skilled massage therapists in the world. I've had hundreds of massages, and the best ones were from old, blind guys. It's totally worth it- only around $20 USD /hour.
There's not much else to say about Tamsui. It's beautiful, there are many tasty foods, and a lot of crappy ones too, so pace yourself and just throw it away if you don't like. The money's already spent, you're just making it worse by filling up your stomach. Econ nerd talk- Sunk Cost If you're in Taipei for more than one day, Tamsui is absolutely unskippable.
Pu Ding Gou "Pudding Dog"
I haggled for this sweet backpack, got her down from 390 to 300NT ($10USD). That means I paid way too much for it.
Epilogue: The cover photo for Sunny's Facebook profile is a picture of her lezzing out with Vivian. We don't know what's up with that.