I'm god damn sick of hearing about good foreign food and finding out that it's only "good" in the same way that putting your dick in another inmate's hairy, shit-stained asshole feels “good” if you've been deprived for long enough. Most Western restaurants sell mediocre food at tourist prices. But not Valance.
I have reason to suspect that Valance outsources their marketing department to a sorority house in midwest America. Seriously, who the fuck tries to sell burgers, chili fries and hot dogs as well-balanced (hence, Valance), and healthy? The tag line is “Taste Beyond Price and Quality you can Taste.” Don Draper just shed a tear. They don't try to look like a small business, which I actually respect- Steak and Shake also looks and feels like a puppet of a corporation but they make great food.
Despite the best efforts of Valance's marketing department to make people not eat their food, they actually make a great burger all around. I took eight (8) experienced burger eaters to try this place for the first time, and we all left satisfied. Well, all except for the one girl who complained she was starving, then only ate one bite and resumed complaining about things but nobody ever says anything because she's hot. Her meal was drawn and quartered by the rest of us before we even finished our own.
I got their Classic burger which comes with the works plus a fried egg(!!!). Nothing classic about that, but eating a burger without a runny fried egg on it is like getting a blowjob with no balls action. The cheese had no flavor, which is better than the status quo in Asia, and all the vegetables were crisp, tying together the experience.
Now unlike this stupid fucking fanboy Busan Haps review of The Avengers, I wouldn't go so far as to call Valance critic-proof. The one problem I have is with the untoasted buns. I like that they are wheat, but god damn it they are sweet like all Korean bread. I can't blame Valance for doing that, and I'm not surprised either. They target a Korean demographic and Koreans love sweet notes.
Don't worry, the price is right. The regular burgers are 4.9k KRW (even the one with egg), the fancier ones a bit extra, and a double meat double cheese is 6.5k. They also have chili fries and onion rings. The cheese they put on the chili cheese fries is crumbled cheddar, not bullshit cheese sauce. They also have value sets if you want a side and a drink.
Cheap food that tastes like I just punched you in the mouth with my dick, and my dick tastes like a pretty good burger. Final score: 7 out of 8
Directions: PNU stop 128, exit 1 take the left ramp and walk opposite from the station until you reach the intersection. Don't cross, take a left, it's a brown store ten seconds away.