Class 6b is my favorite. They're the smartest bunch I have. The girls in this class are smarter than the boys. There's one girl who sits there translating Jason Mraz lyrics while we're doing "Whose Umbrella is it?" I feel bad for all the smart kids in my classes. I remember when I was that kid, way back when I was one of ten non-black kids in my grade.
If you know of the University of Chicago Laboratory Schools in Hyde Park, well right across the street is Ray School, the institution I was caged in from kindergarten to 3rd grade. When I think back to all the fights and shenanigans that went on in that school I can't believe how many incompetent adults called themselves teachers or “administrators”. There were good memories too, like my favorite book ever, a book called Little Pig which I have been unable to find on the internet due to the popularity of the Three Little Pigs story. And Yvonne, this Swedish exchange student who gave me the awesomest 3rd grade boners ever.
Where the fuck am I going with this? If your child attends Ray School, then you have failed as a parent. If you work for that school, take pride in how "diverse" (all-black, lower class) your school is, because that's about all you'd be able to take pride in. Cardboard pizza serving motherfuckers.
The smart girl I mentioned is the grade leader or something. I write down song names for her to look up since she's so smart. I give her Jack Johnson, John Legend, Jason Mraz, all sorts of music. The only song she's not liked so far was Brass Bed by Josh Gracin.
She isn't the class captain, however. That position is reserved for a guy who knows English well, well enough to give me a wrong answer to every question. Usually though, he prefers to talk like a robot and yell in high pitched voices instead. One way the smarter kids like to mock us is by repeating canned responses to our most repetitive questions. If I ask, "How are you," he'll rattle off every response we've taught him. Or when we greet the class, the response is "Hello teacher Anne, Hello teacher Fuck, goodbye teacher Anne goodbye teacher Fuck." He is one of the few who are immune to promises of candy. During repeating drills he likes to just make droning noises, or instead of "I drank warm water", he'll say "I drank cold water." Dumb stuff like that to make English class less boring.
There a bunch of characters in 6th grade. There's a doughy kid who's earned himself a a mention just for his persistence. His English is above average, particularly his response time. What makes him stand out is his enthusiasm for candy. His English sentences are always solicitations of candy from me or a claim of ownership on candy that may or may not exist.
There's this quiet bully who's illiterate, and has the same name as the worst kid in 5th grade. His foot odor was so terrible one day that my CT left the room saying it was giving her a headache. He fights a lot too, not that he doesn't have friends. He likes to stare at me with his Grin of Ignorance. Just now I was brushing my teeth and he came up from behind and humped me. I turned around and said, "Don't ever fucking do that to me again." I was about to really go off on him but I stopped because I remembered, his dad probably beats the shit out of him at home.
[Pictures removed, because fuck you.]