I must admit, I’ve been a little off my game the last few weeks…moving will do that to you. It’s really hard to feel comfortable and “homey” in your new space when you can’t find the scissors, your favorite sweatshirt or the dog’s leash. Ugh. And having boxes and clutter all over the place, to the point where you’re bumping into stuff trying to find the bathroom at 1:00am, just makes me dammed cranky. As The Ben so eloquently said “all of my systems are broken”, which is an apt description of the uncomfortable feeling you get when a new environment knocks you out of your normal routine and habits. Couple this with the fact that I am now working from home – which is a new reality for me, and a new weirdness for The Ben who’s used to being home alone to work in a quiet space on his own terms, and now he has to navigate a wife moving around in that space on a different schedule….stir gently, shake, and you have an awesome cocktail of frustration, annoyance, and snide bitchiness. Did I mention it’s been a fun few weeks??
The good news my friends, is that I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Boxes have been unpacked, things are gradually finding new homes and we have reestablished our morning sit down breakfast and discussion routine, which helps start off the day in a positive light (and keeps us apprised of each other’s schedules, so we don’t trip all over each other or need the car at the same time). It’s also amazing how much you can change the energy of a space by putting out your photographs, and hanging your favorite art on the plain white walls. It starts to feel familiar and homey again, which translates into me feeling less edgy and more open.
I am also delighted to report that I have found my new yoga studio! It’s a cool place that is not packed with 20 year olds looking to do handstands, which is so not my scene any more….instead it’s a space with great energy, and slower and deeper classes that focus on the mind as much as the body. One of my intentions on moving here was to really establish a consistent, serious yoga practice (I was haphazard at best back in LA) and finding a place that I actually enjoy going to is a great first step towards that goal, which I’m happy about.
So now that the dust is settling, I have stumbled into a new and strange line of thinking that I wanted to share with you around the concept of decision fatigue. I’ve heard this concept before and read some of the research around the idea that having MORE choices can lead to LESS happiness, but I hadn’t really experienced it in a significant way until now, since I was so entrenched in my own routines and habits (both my home routine and my 9-5 corporate routine) that I had, in effect, created an environment of limited choices for myself. But now that I have moved to a new place, given up the corporate job and opened myself up to creative energy and new opportunities, what was at first super exciting has shifted to overwhelming. I sit here with a blank slate and think “I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!” and I start joyously listing out what that looks like. Then, as the list grows and GROWS, I start to think “Holy Sh*t, I can’t possibly do ALL of those things” and I sort through the options and try to figure out “a plan”… and it’s too much effort to weigh out all the factors, so I just look at one or two…and then it’s already been an hour, and I have so many chores to do….and then I am tired, and so I click over to look at a blog I like to read…and then, nothing. I end at a place of being all option and no action, with a new understanding and appreciation of decision fatigue.
This is an interesting space to occupy, especially when you are aware of what is happening. I therefore did what any decision fatigued girl would do, I googled it, and stumbled onto some research by Szu-chi Huang at Stanford on this very topic. Interestingly enough, her research indicates that when people are close to achieving a goal, having more than one path to get there can often derail it; but when people are first starting out in pursuit of a goal, having a number of options and paths is encouraging and motivating. This is why people often start new things, but fall short of the goal line before they actually finish the job. Good stuff to consider!