Storming real bad tonight. Seems storms, especially the bad ones, bring out the worst in this place. Been years since I started this. Lots of storms in that time. Storms before that...I don't react well to storms. Always liked them, but...leave me feeling wrong. Messy in the mind.
Ever since the dog. That dog in the storm.
I hardly need to focus to feel its wet fur under my nails. It has been over forty years and still it is so damn easy. Tried hard to push the memory down. But it won't go away. No matter what. Dog fur has a specific feel to it. So different from hair. And that dog...the way the fur and skin shifted under my nails...
Margaret is sitting up with me. Watching the storm. Seems uncomfortable. I get it though. Been a lot of damage to make up for. Even if I am not drinking. Still shaky.
Rained the day Sarah died.