The work on the new exhibits is coming along nicely, and I think we will be open to the public soon. Erik said they contemplated shutting down until this sickness thing passes, but they came to the conclusion that the work we do here is too important. I am not sure how cataloging history is important enough that it couldn't wait a few months, but I suppose I am just thankful that I still have a job. I'm lucky the museum is not for profit because I would be the first to go lol.
I joked with Erik about that, but he insisted that wouldn't happen. He said I was too valuable to let go, which was nice.
Erik says I am doing a great job, and has been giving me regular quizzes in preparation of me starting to do tours. The anthropology classes I took in college have really been coming through for me here. Not all the information concerning the objects are kept in the displays. That creates incentive for people to pay for the tour instead of just wander on their own. Obviously for the time,tours have been put on hold but the work I do now will go a long way later.
I keep needing to remind myself I need to slow down, but it's hard when I actually enjoy the work. My doctor upped one of my meds, and I am supposed to take it easy while I get used to the effects.
It snowed a little last night. Lately it has been hard for me to keep up with all the changes in the weather. I try to plan what I am going to wear at the start of the week, but April is being her usual self and changing stuff on a moments notice. It's frustrating, but not too out of the ordinary. Got my dad to bundle up for once. I bought him a coat for Christmas and the weather was right at the point where he would have to wear it.
We received a new object today. I was the only one at the front when it arrived so I was able to be around when the supervisor opened the box. There was a small doll inside, about four inches tall and made out of sandstone. I guessed Mesopotamian, but Eric said it was actually made locally. It was done in a style similar to a fertility goddess, with overly developed breasts and sexual organs. One thing that made it stand out was that it seemed to be in the form of Echidna, the mother of monsters. It's legs were in the form of snakes and had hair that seemed to have come from a horse.
There was a note with it, and though it didn't provide any insight, it was interesting.
“I know what this looks like, and you aren't wrong to judge me for it. I have tried everything I can, but nothing seemed to work. Fertility treatments left me feeling frustrated, and there was nothing to show for it. So...I get it if this looks strange, and I need you to understand why I did what I did. But I can't hold onto this thing anymore, and I certainly can't destroy it.
Just take care of it. Hide it. Keep it out of the way. But please don't destroy it.
I didn't think it would work. It was simply my last shot before giving up.
My baby arrived on a Tuesday.
I haven't figured out its gender, if it even has a gender. It was midnight when I heard a knock at my door. I don't know how I heard it from all the way upstairs, but somehow I did. Like it was announcing its arrival. Sleep and walls wouldn't keep me from knowing. As I went down the stairs I could feel my heart thundering in my chest.
Somehow I knew that my efforts had been rewarded.
A mother always knows.
I turned on the porch light, and whatever was on the porch hissed.
Opening the door took some effort, like I was trying to convince myself it was the right thing to do. I heard a gurgling on the other side of the door, and a murmur in some language I couldn't understand. My curiosity got the best of me. I couldn't leave it out there alone.
It looked up at me with eyes the color of blood. Its skin is the color of shadows and it smells of roses and asphalt. It looked up at me, and I couldn't feel that bond I knew I needed to feel. That bond women get criticized for for not having. It is all just part of my nerves being frayed.
After two weeks, I had hoped I would have grown into loving my little thing. It still murmurs things in languages I don't know, but it has picked up some words I do. It never smiles, just purrs and chirps like a wild animal. But I know it loves me. I know it needs me.
It does not want me to ever let it go, and I know deep down I never could. It is my baby, the light of my world cast in the color of night. But I also know that temptation is a terrible thing.
So please, keep it safe, and most of all, keep it in tact.
I don't know what would happen if the statue would break, but I knew I had to get it away just to make sure I never found out. It has been six months, and I am proud to say that it is walking on its own and has started to speak in sentences, even if I don't understand all of it. I tried formula at first, but it didn't seem to care for it. It shed its skin the other day. Rats just make more sense. I feed them to it, and it eats them whole.
Its been six months, and that connection still isn't there. But I will be patient, and I will do the best I can to be the mother this little thing of darkness needs.
It is only a matter of time.
I will learn to love it.
Just like it loves me.”
We haven't quite decided what we are going to do with the object. The curator thinks it would make a fun display, but Eric thinks the object is a bit too private a matter to be put on display. I agree, so realistically you are likely the only one other than the people who I work with that will ever know about it. At least for now.
I asked Eric if this is the only one of these things he has ever seen.
He simply winked at me, as if somehow that would explain everything. I'm not too sure what that means, or if I really ever want to find out.
Thank you for the wonderful treats you sent me. I haven't really gotten to travel much abroad, so it was a nice change of pace. I hope you will send some pictures from your next correspondence. I imagine you probably can't travel too much right now, but send me a picture, even if is only the view from your window lol.