Wellington Street

In which we take a stroll down a very strange lane.

hide

Read Next

Building 14 "Seeing Double"

“I woke up while it was still dark, a habit that started four months ago when my wife and I had our first child. Everything would get my attention, even if our daughter was fine. Every creak and thump the house would make would wake me up, and it became common for me to spend an hour or two at night wandering around the house. I stood up and went to the hall, passing by my child's room. A person with my wife's hair was there, which made me stop as I had just seen my wife still sleeping in my bedroom.

I stopped dead in my tracks, my heart beginning to race. I couldn't grasp what I was experiencing, my only thought being the fact that I had to find out who was with my daughter. I entered the room, my voice cracking as I asked her if she and the baby were okay. The figure in the room turned around, and I was only partially relieved when it was my wife looking back at me.

“Everything is fine,” she said groggily. “You couldn't sleep again?”

I wanted to answer her, but my mind was on whatever I saw in the bedroom. I wanted to warn her, but I didn't want to scare her until I had things under control. I simply smiled and headed into the hall, moving quickly to the bedroom. Still in the bed was some figure, their breathing shallow and slow. I slowly made my way to the other side of my bed to retrieve my phone, hoping to call the police. But as I reached for the phone I heard the person shift in the bed. I looked down, only to discover that the person sleeping in my bed looked exactly like my wife.

My mouth went dry as I desperately began to think of how what I was seeing could be possible. Was I going crazy? Was I dreaming? I pinched myself hard and felt a rush of pain as I felt my flesh fold between my fingers. Slowly, I made my way back into the hall and headed back into the baby's room, only to find the person still there, the one that looked like my wife as well holding my baby.

How I Became a Famous Pickup Artist : Part 1

On Tynan

As far as I was concerned, she was perfect. She was at least as smart as I was, was a dancer and had the body to prove it, and had a smile that could disarm the national guard. Let's call her Julie.

So, like an earthworm stalking it's prey, I put my usual game on her. Since my last flowchart was so popular, I've made another one to show you how I dealt with the ladies back then:

Nedless to say, things went slowly. We hung out nearly every day for the last couple months of our Senior year summer vacation. Like many guys, I was totally oblivious to her attraction for me. One morning Julie came over really early while I was still sleeping, and squeezed into my twin bed with me. I woke up, and assumed that she must be tired - it didn't even occur to me that she might like me. Finally on the last week of that vacation she said to me,

Rendering New Theme...