Wellington Street

In which we take a stroll down a very strange lane.

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Factory 1 "The Trick-or-Treaters"

Their parents wouldn't help them purchase Halloween masks. Should have reconsidered. Shouldn't have been cheap. They should have at least made their children keep their mouths shut about it. Was a cool night. Lot's of kids on the street...still took several houses before people realized the kids weren't wearing masks.

My boy Noah decided he wanted to go as a skeleton this year. Can still smell the face paint under my finger nails. That pungent, awful smell. You never forget it...When I was a kid everyone used the face paints. Masks cost money. Was cheaper to throw something together. My family didn't have a lot of money back then. On really bad years we would sometimes stay home, my sister and I. We were embarrassed. I try not to let those memories affect my kids.

Noah, Beth and I left the house around seven. Margaret was at home. Figured it was best. Her face was a little swollen that day.

We heard screaming about twenty minutes after that. It was an older woman. House full of plants. Had lost her husband the other year. Loves kids though. Hands out the big candy bars. By the time I reached them she was already on the phone with police. The kids stood there, unfazed. Didn't seem to realize that anything was wrong. The stitches were fresh. Whatever he doped them with it was enough to make sure they didn't feel any pain.

I ran across the street. Noah and Beth followed.

Crime, Punishment, and Construction Equipment

On Tynan

This story is one of the first really interesting and bizarre things that happened to me. It's a tale chock full of twists, crime, and deceit, guaranteed to satisfy even the most discriminating BtyB reader.

It takes place when I was a sophomore in high school, before I had any clue whatsoever regarding women. Despite my objective inexperience, I had managed to attract my first real girlfriend. I'll write the full story some day on how I met her... believe it or not, I won her over by memorizing more digits of pi than she memorized. Let's all pretend I didn't just admit that. Anyway, she was very attractive, super cool, and perhaps the most compatible girlfriend I've ever had. Now she is a fighter (like amateur UFC or something) and a stripper. Her name is Allison.

One of my good friends at the time was a fellow named Charles. There always seemed to be something a bit odd about him, but I wasn't sure what it was. Later I would learn that he had been sent to juvenile detention for attempting to stab his stepfather.

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