Wellington Street

In which we take a stroll down a very strange lane.

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Cemetery 1 "Lanterns on the Graves"

I visited Sarah today. Has been a very long time. The leafs in the cemetery are changing early. The smell is everywhere. Every time you take a step that deep smell of earthy rot hits your nose. Smell is comforting. On the graves people have begun to place lanterns. Nothing elaborate. Just solar powered things. At night it is quite beautiful. Most the graves have them now. I found a dead squirrel on top of a tombstone.

She probably would have liked it if I had brought the kids. Things being as they are I don't think that would be a great idea.

I hadn't even passed the cemetery in a while.

The large sinkhole in the middle hasn't gotten larger, but the fence around it needs repairs. Passed the sinkhole on the way to her grave. Water in it was higher than I remembered. Spotted the rope we had used to lower ourselves into it years ago. We used to sneak in a lot. Was a sort of special place for us. People said I shouldn't bury her here.

I didn't care.

8. I have a dream

On The Itinerant Tern

ok I had a nightmare. A while back I woke up in cold sweat, because I felt insignificant and useless after an encounter with Tynan and his friends. In this dream, I came to a hangout looking to meet interesting people. I thought that I inherently belonged in such a crowd and figured that it would be easy to jump right in. When I got there, however, Tynan asked me for vitamins. Weird right?

This stopped me cold. In dream logic, he was asking me if I had anything new to contribute. I either brought fresh ideas and energy into the group, or I was just another dead-weight groupie. I panicked. Up until that point, I was confident in myself even in my dreams. I woke up wondering if I have anything original or interesting to add to a conversation in a group of creators and innovators. Many of the things that come to mind are derivatives of the ideas I read from books and blogs of those same people.

Luckily, I snapped out of it when the fears and insecurities of dream-brain seeped away. I remembered the many personal breakthroughs and interesting experiences that I've had in my life. This is when I realized that it is important to me to be a creator and not a mere consumer. I am a peer, not a fan. It seems that my dream of inadequacy was spurring me to catch up.

Next time: the first original thought that I recalled after my dream.

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