I’ve always thought a complete list of the Internet’s top personal development blogs would be a fantastic resource. As the saying goes, great minds think alike. Steven Aitchison and Brendan Baker have put together some awesome lists over the past couple years that clearly took a tremendous amount of effort to put together.
I’ve found lots of great blogs through their lists. There were also many blogs that didn’t resonate with me, but that’s to be expected with lists as large as the ones they’ve compiled. I’ve benefited hugely from Brendan and Steven’s lists, and I greatly appreciate the effort they put into them.
Reading there lists inspired me to put together my own list of personal development blogs, but from a different angle.
What’s Different About My List?
Well for one my list only includes 32 blogs. Why 32? Because 50 and 100 are just too many. At that point you’re beginning to sacrifice quality for quantity, and it’s been shown that when you give people too many choices they get overwhelmed and refuse to pick any of them. I also decided to use 32 rather than 30 because it’s unconventional and goes against the grain which is a huge part of personal development.
If you’ve been following my blog since the very beginning you may have read my post on Why I Love Everyone. In that post I said you’d live a happier existence if you did your best to understand and love everyone. I still stand by that.
Let’s be honest though, 99% of the world doesn’t live by that philosophy so if you’re an annoying brat you’re not going to get very far in life. If you’re constantly being a jerk, or leeching off other people nobody’s going to want to have anything to do with you.
I’ve got a few haters myself, but for the most part people consistently tell me I’m a really likable person. I used to be the annoying leech though so I’m going to share with you some reasons why people hate being around you, and what you can do to change.
You’re A Value Sucking Leech
Relationships are like phones. They go both ways. If you’re constantly hitting me up for favors, yet you magically disappear when I need one it’s no wonder we don’t get along. What kind of brothership is that?
I’m not proud of the thousands of hours I spent throughout my childhood playing video games. I shudder to think at the things I may have accomplished if I funneled all the energy I spent on them into worthwhile pursuits.
At the same time I don’t regret playing them either. Being a former video game addict has helped shape me into who I am today and for that I’m forever grateful.
Growing up my favorite game was Pokemon and although it was an enormous time sink, Pokemon also helped teach me several life lessons. It wasn’t worth the many hours I put into it, but looking back, I’m grateful to at least have something to show from that time period.
The first thing Pokemon taught me was to have a vision. Ash was a twelve year old nobody, but he understood that he wasn’t going to be a nobody for the rest of his life.
Someone once asked Muhammad Ali, “How many sit-ups can you do?” His answer?
"I don’t count my sit-ups. I only start counting when it starts hurting. When I feel pain, that’s when I start counting, because that’s when it really counts."
If you want to be successful you need to be comfortable with getting uncomfortable. Growth only occurs when you step outside your comfort zone, so it’s important you stop going through the motions and begin challenging yourself everyday.
Regardless of what you’re trying to improve at I recommend using the rule of five. Whenever your want to give up, make the commitment to do five more of whatever you’re working on.
When your arms are exhausted do five more pushups. When you feel restless at your desk, make five more calls. When you have writer’s block spend five more minutes trying to write.
SETT is an up and coming blogging platform developed by Tynan over the last few years. In addition to being designed to optimize performance and community interaction, it’s also home to some of the best bloggers on the web. Like me. ;)
I’ve developed some great relationships through SETT and want to use this post to share what some of the other bloggers on SETT are writing about. So without further ado, my top ten favorite SETT bloggers.
Sebastian Marshall is one of my favorite bloggers on any blogging platform. His purpose as a blogger is to, “Help you increase your resourcefulness, resources, and have more impact with the resources you've got.” I’ve been reading his blog for several months and his daily posts on strategy and history never fail to insprire me. Although I’m far from being passionate about history myself, Sebastian has a way of relating the past to the present in which I can’t help but share his excitement.
Take a minute to step back and look at your life. Look at all the things you’ve overcome. Look at your current struggles. Look at who you once were. And look at who you want to be.
After you’ve done all that imagine a bottle of water. Alone water has no form. Rather it’s flexible and takes the shape of whatever container holds it. When you pour the water from a bottle to a glass it changes form. People are the same way.
Humans have no default form. We’re capable of adapting to almost anything, but we never adapt to things unless our environments force us to.
The reason so many people are lazy losers is because our genetics only care that we survive, not that we thrive. Since there’s no real consequences to being lazy it's most people’s default response because it’s effortless and requires no adaption.
Another problem is because things like food, and mating opportunities were once scarce, our natural reward system has trained us to get as much of them as possible while the “getting is good.”
I’ve played soccer for almost as long as I can remember. It’s been the most consistent thing in my life over the past decade. Aside from video games (which I used merely as an escape from reality), soccer was my first love.
Over the last year or so, however, my love for soccer has slowly faded. Soccer started to become a chore. It became something I had to do rather than wanted to do. I found myself going through the motions, and feeling indifferent to my future in the game and whether my team won or lost.
I made a promise to myself long ago that I’d quit playing soccer the day I stopped loving it. Well, that day is long overdue.
Initially I thought I was just suffering burnout from the sport, but these feelings have persisted for well over a year now. I’m confident in my decision and I’d like to announce my retirement. I’m hanging up the cleats.
At this point there’s several reasons I’m calling it a career. I’ll list my specific reasons for quitting the sport below, but I’ll also offer some advice to help you determine when it may be time to let something go from your own life. (Feel free to read only the bold if in a hurry.)
I love personal development. It changed the whole course of my life. Before I discovered it I was depressed and at times suicidal. These days I’m the happiest person I know. With that being said, as much as I love personal development, there’s also several problems with it.
You don’t. This is a terrible goal. Here’s the two issues with trying to make people like you.
1. Nobody will want to hang out with you if you broadcast neediness because they’ll see you as inferior and expect that you’d leech value from them if you were to develop a relationship. Seeking approval from other people comes off as needy. The problem with that, is when people see you can’t meet you own needs they’ll immediately run away from you because they won't expect you to contribute anything to the relationship.
2. Even if you’re able to hide your neediness and “make” people like you it won’t matter. Why? Because your relationships will be unfulfilling. If you can’t be yourself around other people you’re not going to get any fulfillment from relationships with them.
So What Should I Do?
Don’t try to force relationships with people that aren’t compatible with you. If someone’s not a good fit for you drop them from your life. When one door closes another one opens.
About a month ago I couldn’t even tell you who Huan Nguyen was. He may have been a subscriber to my blog, but more or less he was just a guy with a funny name behind some computer screen to me.
Now I subscribe to his blog, follow him on Twitter, and he’s my closest fellow blogger. How did our friendship develop so quickly? Huan’s a marketing genius. He understands relationships are important and he knows how to build them.
I’ll be using the rest of this post to talk about why relationships are important as well as the secret Huan used to build a relationship with me. This powerful secret can be used to build a relationship with ANYONE you want, but first let’s talk about the importance of relationships.
Why Are Relationships Important?