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Best Pickup Lines

Hey guys, Todd Valentine here.

A question I’m often asked when people first find out that I’m a pickup artist or dating coach is, “What’s your pickup line?” It’s a normal question- a natural response to the unknown is to start at the beginning – but in my opinion, guys put way too much emphasis on this “pickup line,” this idea of the first thing you say.

I’ve found that it truly doesn’t matter what you say. I could give a guy with no experience in the game the best possible pickup line, but if it’s done in a nervous or reaction seeking way, or without the right tone of voice or body language, he’s going to look like a complete tool. On the other hand, if we take a guy who is centered in who he is, confident and grounded, and give him something really offensive to say, maybe calling the girl a dog, the guy can make it work (and most of the time, it works well).

What’s interesting about not only the opener, but the game in general, is that it’s not so much about what you say but how you say it. It’s not so much about what you do, as how you do it. Much of the game is about coming off as a guy who has an abundance of women- a guy who has had women and is confident in himself. Many people will try to “fake it till they make it,” and that can work to an extent, but obviously it’s much better to be genuinely confident.

With My Compliments….

On Zen Wednesday

Happy Zen Wednesday my delightful friends! This past weekend I went to the movies and after the show, I made a quick pit stop at the restroom before heading home. While standing in front of the mirror reapplying my lipstick (you know, so I’d look good…on the drive home) the woman standing next to me turns to me and says “you are just beautiful, I love your red hair”. Then she smiles warmly at me, dries her hands and exits while I stammer a dubious thank you because, of course, I am suspicious. Where the hell did that come from? I immediately wonder if she was being sarcastic, or maybe she was buzzed (this theater does serve alcohol after all), or maybe she was hitting on me! Whatever the reason behind the comment , my first reaction is to question its sincerity and handle the whole exchange with bumbling awkwardness while trying to come up with a “good” explanation for this woman’s seemingly odd behavior.

I tell my girlfriend who’s waiting for me outside about the “beautiful “comment and immediately laugh it off and question the woman’s mental state. Then I head home, driving off into the darkness wearing my expertly applied lipstick that none of the other drivers can possibly see. I shrug the whole thing off……

…until the next morning, when I wake up and replay the entire incident over in my mind.

On second thought, the woman did not seem to be acting sarcastically, nor did she seem at all intoxicated. And I remember seeing her later walking to her car holding hands with a man, presumably her boyfriend or husband, so the whole hitting on me thing was probably off. Hmmm, now that I am paying closer attention, I realize there was absolutely nothing suspect about the entire incident. In fact, now that I really think about it, I believe that woman paid me a sincere, genuine COMPLIMENT. Gasp! And now I must turn the spotlight on myself and say… what the hell is wrong with me?

Seriously, why is it that (particularly amongst us women) we can be so distrustful of other people’s praise? Why is it that when we ask “do I look good in this”? and the answer is Yes, we follow that up with “are you sure”? Or if a co-worker randomly says “You look nice today” we start to wonder, what do they mean by that? Or what’s wrong with this jacket? Particularly if it’s someone we don’t know all that well.

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