I watched a TED talk about the four taboos of parenting. It was done by a married couple that founded a parenting website. Their mission was to "tell it to us straight." I was intrigued. Yes, tell me straight. Write an article about how much our children need us and how important it is to meet that need. Write an article saying that our children will only be young once and to be gentle and kind to them. They *will* grow up (you know) and we hope that when they do, we will be welcome to visit them often.
I have been under a lot of stress lately. My husband and I are building our software business, without venture capital money (the usual way to start in software is by acquiring outside funding). We will be using our own nest egg to fund our business. It's both exhilarating and very, very stressful. One of many initial steps is to lower our monthly expenses as much as we can. When I look at my three children, so happy and unaware, I want to preserve that. I don't want them to feel our financial burden. I don't want to live in a bad neighborhood with roaches; that's what the realtor was offering us. Place and after place that looked like they should be condemned. Arg! I’ve become snappy, irritated, with reactive No! not now! way more than I really intend. Under all the stress, I want to be kind, compassionate, accommodating, fun!, and happier than I've been.
It's much easier to be kind and generous, when I see generosity around me. It’s a good practice; to see in other people, how one aims to be. That doesn’t mean changing your life completely, or moving to a new group of friends. I suppose it could, but often it means changing what you chose to give notice to. One of my bridesmaids, whom I’ve only kept loose contact with over the past 6 years, has been helping me find a place to live. She too, has 3 children, and a full time job. Life is busy for both of us. For the past month, she has been sending me listings, advising me on which parts of the city are safe and which should be avoided. Her input has been invaluable. My husband wakes up and makes coffee for us every morning. He brings me food and water late at night when I'm in bed with the little ones. He does most (he would say he does all;) of the cooking. He does laundry. He loads the dishwasher. Chase holds every door open for us. Desmond runs to grab diapers or towels whenever I need them. Time, kindness, generosity, love, these things are not a zero sum game. If you give all you have, you will discover that you are left with so much more than you ever imagined.