Chase and I are at the end of our breastfeeding relationship. I'm saddened, but also ready to move on. He's nearing 5 years old; a good long time.
We weren't breastfeeding the entire time. Since I got pregnant with Desmond 2 years ago, we have been gradually weaning. At first it was because of the nursing aversion and discomfort of nursing during pregnancy. After Desmond was born, the nursing surged a bit, but after a few months started to wane again. When I got pregnant with Chloe, I nursed him for as long as I could but the second trimester dry spell was much too painful. I weaned both Chase and Desmond.
Part of me thinks Chase would still be happily nursing as much as he ever was if there were no barriers. It's unfortunate that the last 6 months he spent completely weaned has resulted in him forgetting how to latch properly. I've tried nursing him twice since Chloe was born. He latches on my nipple only, sucking like he would a straw. That is extremely painful. I explained that he needs to take more of the dark part into his mouth and not to suck like a straw. He tried. He opened wide but at the last moment releases the areola and sucks on my nipple. The last time we tried he said "I won't suck it like a straw." It was such a sad moment for me.
Feelings aside, I know he's ok with passing on the nursing to the younger ones. We had a good experience. When he sees me nursing Desmond or Chloe now, he looks on with a kind of loving nostalgia. He looks a little sad that it's over, but not upset or angry. He looks grateful.