Toddler Breastfeeding

Toddlers, tandem, and everyday nursing

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Real breastfeeding

I found this photo of a mom breastfeeding and love it. The tattoos, the laid back posture, the softness of the colors; fantastic. This has been on my breastfeeding pinterest board for about a year. A couple of weeks ago, someone commented saying the photo was dark and sad because the mother was not gazing at her child. I completely disagree.

The idea that breastfeeding should be portrayed as blissful, tender moments is not new. It seems the only breastfeeding image that is accepted is the one where mom is gazing at baby lovingly. The reality is, breastfeeding does have those blissful moments but it also has the moments where mom is tired, or aggravated, or her mind is on other things and she happens to be breastfeeding. But that doesn't make the moment dark or sad. Every breastfeeding moment must be loving and blissful.. What an unreasonable expectation to put on nursing mothers! I can't think of any aspect of my life that solely consists of blissful, happy moments.

When breastfeeding moms read this kind of response they feel something is wrong with their breastfeeding relationship. They feel that they should be more happy about it. That there should be a permanent smile plastered on their faces when they breastfeed. That they should be counting the minutes until the next feeding. Late at night when mom is tired, hungry, a little sick, and there is a fussy baby wanting to nurse the guilty thoughts start to surface. This mom in this moment is not happy about breastfeeding. She'd rather be sleeping, or getting a massage, or both. And at this moment, it would be better if she was resting and recovering. But there is another human that's dependent on her and she's doing the most loving thing any mom can do. She's breastfeeding and caring for him. Unfortunately, the guilt will chip away at her confidence. Those guilty thoughts will eventually destroy her perfectly healthy and happy breastfeeding relationship.

What can we do about this? We can keep talking about real breastfeeding. We need to shed light on what a real breastfeeding relationship is like. It is like any other aspect of our lives. It has happy incredible moments. It has not so good moments. It has downright bad moments sometimes. But that's life. I don't focus on the bad moments or even the not so good moments. Every decision I make brings me closer to joy in everything I do. And that's what I see in this photo. A mom making the best decision for her and her baby in that moment.

This is me

On Looking at her hurts a bit

Since I have no reason what I'm actually gonna type here I decided to just go with this title. It sucks, I know.

Well okay I guess I'm just going to tell a little bit about myself.

- My name is Emma but you can call me Em or whatever you like. Be creative. I dare you.- I'm 19 years old- I'm studying International Media and Entertainment management but after this I want to do my masters in something related to screenwriting.- No I don't actually know what I'm going to do with my life- I'm more of a live in the moment kind of girl. I'll see what life brings to me. (doesn't mean I don't dream about my future though)- English is not my first language (apologies in advance for any annoying mistakes I'm probably going to make)- I love to write. - I'm slightly addicted to television shows and partying.- I'm currently in love with a girl and I have no idea what to do about that.

I get that you want to know more about me and this girl. Well.. let's just say I found out that I was bi last year when I suddenly had a crush on a friend of mine. Okay this totally sucked just so you know. I guess it's always been there I just never realized. Eventually we all got drunk and I told her and urgh it was pretty fucked up but we stayed friends. I think we're pretty good now, as far as possible of course.

Time went by, I kissed some guys (made some mistakes blabla you know it), and well... nothing really happened. I haven't told anyone beside a friend of mine who lives in England and well obviously that girl I had a crush on. My parents sort of know but the last time I tried to bring it up to my mom she got really mad and said it was just a phase. I don't want to make you think that she's a homophobic or something because she's not. She just doesn't really realize that I might be serious about this.

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