Periodically I poke and prod my boobs to see how the pain is changing. A few days ago, in the shower, I checked my nipples. Lo and behold out came colostrum, aka, liquid gold! It gets its name, not only from its gold color, but its long list of benefits. When I express some colostrum now, it looks like gold thick liquid drops and more translucent thinner, but still gold tinged, drops. That day in the shower my pain level was surprisingly low. I thought it was a good day to try to nurse Desmond.
After my missing breastfeeding episode, I was way too excited to try it again. Desmond nursed three times. The first time he nursed it wasn't bad. Still painful, but manageable. I watched him roll his eyes, felt him get more and more relaxed until he fell asleep. The second time was later that day. Desmond walked up to me with a hesitant look on his face. He said "have milk" or something similar to that anyway. Usually he asks for "milk" but until that day having milk meant snuggling and squeezing my boobs and rubbing my belly. But this time I knew what he meant. He wanted to have some more liquid gold. Knowing the benefits of colostrum, I couldn't resist. Desmond would get it twice! Once when he was a tiny baby and now as a growing toddler. Chase got colostrum twice too.
I nursed Desmond again, and then again to go to sleep. The day after that he nursed twice. My pain level had increased ten fold. The last time Desmond nursed, I had to stop him. It had gotten too painful. The next morning, my nipples were bright red and super soar to the touch. Excitement got the better of me. I'm hoping regular applications of lanolin will help. It would be really great if I could regularly nurse Desmond again. Even if its only once a day.
On SEBASTIAN MARSHALL
August 11th, 2011. Chiba, Japan.
A mix of confusion and awe as I step off the platform.
I must have made a mistake. But maybe a good mistake.
Birds caw and cicadas click gently, filling the warm afternoon air with sounds of nature. The train platform is open to the air and on the other side of the tracks is a high fence. Beyond it, a bicycle and walking path leading to a park.
Children are running around and playing in the park, but surprisingly quietly. Very Japanese.