Self help is like doing a flip in the pool. Why wouldn't you want to flip in the pool every time? It's sooo cool and fun sounding! But every time I flip in the pool, I'm left with the worst nausea. Just awful. When I approach a new self help method, it looks so promising and fun and easy. Only follow these few steps and enlightenment, joy, eternal bliss will follow or your money back guaranteed.
Having said that, doing thework has been a positive change. Unlike the other self help methods I've tried, this one has given me some good results. But don't be fooled. It's not for the faint of heart or for anyone looking for quick, easy fixes. It is not a weight loss pill. Much like the name implies, it takes work and a willingness to dig deep into the shadowy ugly parts of ourselves.
Chase flat out refused to go with Daddy, Desmond, and Grandma to the beach. But he didn't want them to go either. We all tried to convince him to go and in the end Chase was left screaming for grandma on the porch as the others left. There was nothing else we could do. Chase wasn't getting what he wanted and decided to scream and cry outside the door.
I chose this situation for thework because of my reaction to Chase asking for milk. It surprises me still, how absolutely irate I became.
Before Chase asked for milk, my demeanor was passive, patient. I was giving Chase space to be angry and sad without judgement. But the moment he asked for milk I got so angry I had to step away and breathe. My body tensed up. My fists were balled up and ready to smash things. My teeth were clenched. I was so pissed off. It was not the response I wanted to have when Chase asked for milk.
Later that day, I sat quietly, focused on my memory of the situation, and dug in.
You can check out my worksheet here. These kinds of beliefs can be floating around our subconscious unknown to us. They can erode an otherwise healthy nursing relationship. Life can make our emotional selves a little dirty. It's good to do some work to keep that part just as clean, well maintained, and healthy as the rest of our Self.