Toddler Breastfeeding

Toddlers, tandem, and everyday nursing

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Support from Grandma

One morning, Chloe and I were hanging out on the bed chatting with my mom on FaceTime. Our FaceTime calls are usually calm for a minute before Desmond comes and takes over the phone. Grandma gets very dizzy as he bounces the camera around. That boy cannot stay still. Grandma doesn't mind though. She loves the energy.

This time, Desmond came in with a face that said "I'm falling apart!" Chloe was already nursing. I tensed up in anticipation of the battle and barrage of fists and slaps because I wasn't immediately available to nurse him. But something else happened. Grandma helped us through it.

Desmond started screaming for milk. Grandma asked, "well why can't he have milk at the same time?" It's not easy nursing Chloe and Desmond. Nursing Desmond and Chase was a breeze. Chase was such a calm nursling. He would carefully get into any position and nurse without wiggling or kicking or moving. He was so still. Desmond, is a hurricane. He bounds in, crashes into me, rolls over, bumps into me again. He is loud and the only time he's still is when he's sound asleep. It's challenging nursing Desmond by himself. Nursing him AND Chloe is almost too much.

When I started to say it was too difficult she asked Desmond "can you have milk and be calm?" Desmond responded with his usual "yeaaaah." Slightly whining but I could tell he understood the question and was willing to try. He leaned over me and nursed while Chloe was laying next to me latched. She thought it was hilarious that her big brother was looming over her and breastfeeding at the same time. She kept unlatching to coo and laugh, then she'd frantically look for the boob again. Periodically I would whimper from Desmond crushing my boob or elbowing my side. Grandma would give him reminders "Desmond, hold up your head, lean this way, lean that way, yeah like that" etc. so that I would be more comfortable. She also reminded me (gently) that Desmond wants to nurse too and sometimes it's too hard for him to wait.

Father and daughter (or child really) relationships

On Shut Up and Take My Hand

My relationship with my 'father' has been a rather interesting one. For the majority of my life I would of classified myself as somewhat of a 'daddy's girl' simply because I was closer to him than to my mother. However, this was during the time where I was young (...younger) and rather deluded. I used to look up to him and respect him since no matter how you look at it, even now I still think this, he is a very skilled man capable of many things. A man of many talents.

But that has all changed. For quite a while I knew my 'father' was not the same person I thought he was or should be. Yes, he could build a table and fix the television but he couldn't hold a simple conversation without starting an argument or bringing up controversial issues or something he knew would agitate another person currently in the room. Yes, he could lift me and my sisters at the same time but he was also incredibly insensitive - on purpose possibly, and constantly made my mother cry.

And I guess now I see that all the positives matter very little if he cannot be the father I need him to be.

This is just going to be a post of me complaining and whining so if that doesn't interest you I recommend you stop reading now cuz seriously, this is gonna get reeeeaaaaall pathetic right about now ._.

A few days (around two...?) back, I told my family that I didn't want to go to this party that they insisted I attended. Honestly, I was just feeling really tired, really shitty and just not in the mood to deal with people that I didn't particularly like and who didn't particularly like me. In response to this little rebellious action of mine, I was told 'you are selfish, arrogant, all you do is cause us trouble, you're ungrateful and this is why no one likes you' etc. etc. etc.

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