Death is complicated. In the year of 2012, I stayed up for countless amounts of nights, worrying that I won't ever make it to my high school graduation because the Earth will be destroyed and all human existence will be gone. And on December 22nd I stayed up all night crying and praying to a God I've never believed in to please save me from the destruction of the sun. The one thing we were ecstatic to see as children, showing the first sign of Summer, was now something that we believed was going to kill us all. Like our one source of happiness, was going to cause harm in our lives, turning us different shades of red and soon enough the whole Earth too. When I learned in Biology that bruises on my skin was a sign of Leukemia, I gave myself a full body inspection. I promised myself the color purple won't be a fear of mine after age four. I swore to myself I was going to die in a couple of months when I found two bruises: one on my knee and one on my elbow. Bruises no longer represented playing around too much on monkey bars, or my sister kicking me too hard when I stole her clothes, but instead a sure sign of an oncoming death. The bruises and Mayan calendars represented the death we have years before we end up in ground. The truth is, no one knows when we are going to be dead. We could die of old age or of a car accident when you leave for work on a normal day. Just like you always had. I realized the more you think about death, the more it becomes a part of your life. Something you're always watching out for. And the more you start to feel numb and accept death, the more you start to reject life. The more you start to try to die sooner than your life intended you to. My mom always told me you can have anything you want if you put your mind to it.