I just now realized that I haven't updated you guys in a month! Time has been passing so fast that I completely forgot! Life for me went from bad to good to bad and back to good again. The first bad, was that silly boyfriend that you all read about. Than I slowly started to get over him, and he came back again, So there is the next bad. He told me he Missed me, and missed everything we did together. He told his girlfriend he would never talk to me again but continued to talk to me, and give me hope. I realized that I had to stop having hope, and had to fully get over him. So I went ahead and blocked him on everything, so I can't have the urge to talk to him. I don't ever want to ruin a relationship between anyone, because I now know how much it hurts, and I don't want to be that other girl. I had a lot of journal entries and letters written to him, and one day something just sparked in me, a lot of anger. So I ripped them all up, and burnt them. It sounds so cliche, like what they do in a movie, but I felt really good after doing it. I felt like I could finally put him in the past. Now it's back to good. I've recently been going to a lot of the Picton Pirates (the hockey team here) games, with one of my very close friends, Morgan, who I'm sure you will be introduced to sometime soon. At the games, this one guy from my class and his friend came and sat with us. The guy from my class is sooooo annoying, and rude, but oh well, he can be funny sometimes. Anyways, his friend is in grade 10, and after going to the games for a while and talking there, we started talking on Facebook. Yeah, not very romantic, talking over Facebook, but. I started to slowly develop feelings for him, and the other day when he said this to me., "Coughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughilikeyouhfjdgfeubgecough" I thought he was just being stupid and coughing because I didn't see the I like you in it. So that made me very happy. How about you guys? Anything interesting happening in your lifes?
As I've mentioned before, I'm called to be an evangelist. God has revealed to me little at a time what His plan for my life is. He is still showing me things along and along. The thing is I haven't always known what I was chosen for. I knew that I was called to more than just the norm, but I also was very unsure about my future.
For what seemed like forever, I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. I longed and hungered and worried over God's will for my life. I was dying to know the Lord's thoughts and intentions for me. Then, my youth group attended the Forward conference with Jentezen Franklin. I could feel it was going to be a good conference before I even showed up. The conference was amazing, but there was one message given by Matthew Barnett that really stuck with me. He spoke from Proverbs 3:5 (I still have the notes!)
He spoke some on not looking for your cause, your cause will find you. That's when it hit me! I had been trying for so long to find God's plan for my life that I hadn't waited on Him to reveal it to me. I wanted so bad for God to use me that I hadn't been concerned about Hid timing!
So, I left it at that. I gave my worry and my desire of knowing His plans for my life to Him and decided to wait.