Hi..welcome to my very first blog. I must confess that I am more than a little intimidated to be writing one. Will anyone read it? Will they find it helpful or interesting? What should I share in it? Well, I don't know the answers yet, but I hope it will help me learn about why I am struggling with money and maybe help someone else along the way. So maybe we can learn how to figure this out together.
The biggest problem that I want to work though is my relationship with money. I struggle with managing it properly. It has always been a scarcity in my life. It is important to me to to identify and face the underlying fears I have surrounding this, buried under all the reasonings, justifications and denials. I am a smart girl. Educated. Based in science and facts. I should be able to handle this.
Here is how I thought about this today:
Fear is the root, with deep tendrils sunk into my beliefs and habits that are mostly unconscious at this point. Honestly, I am having difficulty even trying to pinpoint what they could be. Fear of not being good enough? Not being okay in my life? In this moment? How about fear of not having or being enough? Maybe being unloved or abandoned? Or not accepted..by myself or by others?
There is a myriad of possibilities...it is my challenge through the Beta Labs to yank out the root and grow in it's place Peacefulness. Acceptance. Compassion. Sounds like a good plan to me.