I am struggling to writes these posts--not that I am not here, I am. I log in with the intention to write...and just find the answers I am forced to face hard and overwhelming. So I read other blogs instead. Classic!
I suffer from crippling self-doubt. About my actions and my worthiness, not getting everything done and done correctly, my weight and body image-- And it makes me feel guilty, bad and insecure. I am simply not good enough..at anything. I beat myself up on the regular. Someone really should press charges for bullying.
In fact, I think I might-- to protect that poor little girl inside of me that is forced to live up to ideals that no human could master...but tried so desperately...and religiously failed..and was called out and persecuted for every single infraction.
Poor kid. Maybe it's time I let go of those recordings that run through my head and create something that works better for us.
This week, we will make some lists of the mean, controlling ideals that no longer serve me and create new corresponding ones that honor the good parts of me. I will record them both, make peace with the negative ones, and let them go and see if I can notice anything different.
I feel a little lighter already..
Who knew introspection would be good for the soul...AND my diet?