To improve. My home; my productivity; my relationship with my lover, my parents, those around me; my work; my study; my habits in general.
It all seems so overwhelming at times - but then I remember, I have a lifetime to get these things in check. And if some of those things pass in the meantime before I've 'improved' to my own unrealistic standards, well, so be it. I've tried.
As long as I'm trying to improve, I'm improving.
There has been a nearly constant nag in my mind telling me: you must write that down. You must document that memory, that moment, so that you can easily recall and share it with your friends, family, and the World Wide Web, and most importantly, so that you will NEVER FORGET IT EVER AGAIN, no matter how far in the future you want to recall it, no matter how far in the past it originally occurred.
And then there is the equally constant nag which reminds me how essential it is to live in the moment, enjoy each breath of air and each glimpse of the sunset over the water and each thought of pure genius (har) that my mind conjures... and to file it away in nothing but my own memory. To savour the now, and to enjoy the bittersweet loss of a faded but perfect memory.
So what do I do? Spend an hour a day typing on a blog, which could potentially be better spent staring out at the infinite ocean across the road? Maybe some days, maybe not others - I've come to terms with the fact that life is changeable, unstable and unpredictable. And I'm going to enjoy it, damnit!
Last year, I did a Year In Review to sum up and show my growth throughout 2012.
A few days ago, I planned on doing something similar for this year. But then, I wondered to myself about whether this year would really be considered a success or not. At first, I thought it would again be defined by running and Breakthrough, the same two subjects that summed up 2012 for me. Now yes those aren't the only two things I've done this year, but they have made significant impacts in 2013.
In March, I broke the sub-5 mile barrier in the mile. I had a rough cross-country season, but my state championship meet ended up going very well and I surpassed all expectations I had for myself. Currently, I'm in my senior year of high school and am training for what may be my last track season ever. I can say for a fact that I will be running faster times than I did last spring. I do have some ambitious goals I want to accomplish in this upcoming season, but even if they aren't reached, I know I have improved regardless. This year has solidified the fact that I'm going to continue to run after high school.
My experience with Breakthrough has also changed significantly. This summer, I got the opportunity to be a full-fledged teacher intern (I was a TA the summer before). Responsibilities increased tenfold and I had to deal with copious amounts of stress, but it was an enjoyable experience overall. I was able to bond with my students more and truly understood what it meant to be a teacher.