Marriage is not like the movies in terms of shots of wedded bliss. Let me be clear, it is hard work.
My wife and I are celebrating 30 years of marriage. At dinner last night, we were seated at our table. After a couple of minutes my wife said that she was not comfortable in the chairs were at the table. No problem, we asked to be moved and were promptly.
I mention this because 30 years ago I doubt we would have done that. I doubt I would have done that. My wife nailed it when she said we were taught to be nice.
Being nice and asking for what you want are not mutually exclusive, but it took a long time to realize this. You can be nice and demanding of what you deserve.
Marriage in a lot of ways forced me to grow up. We were much to young to marry. My wife will tell you this also. We were high school sweet hearts and never really thought much about it. We were meant for each other. Just like the movies.
Reality is that there has to be balance in a relationship. That has been important for me to learn. My wife and I really grew up together. As the years have unfolded, we have adjusted and grown. Sometimes in synch and sometimes not.
As I look back and as I think about today, I can see the good times, the tough times, and the growth times. The growth times have been challenging, but good all the same.
I can only be so lucky time have more time to grow along with my wife.
What about you? What kind of growth have you seen in your relationships? I would love to know. It is far more interesting than what I have to say.