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Raison D'etre.

Early last year, after about a year of working for Bohemia Interactive on VBS2, mainly travelling around on airplanes running training courses for military simulations folks, I finally embarked on a project that had been buzzing around in my head for over twenty years.

I'm fairly sure it was the catalyst of working in the simulations field that helped me realize that the time had actually come, and I actually could pull it off, but it had been a long road. When I wrote my first novel, which I started when I was nineteen (it shows its age!), I needed five years of research, which included joining the army and becoming an infantryman, before I could say I had the needed spark to finish it. The relative quality of these projects notwithstanding, no-one can ever say I don't take my research seriously.

The spark for this one came in the form of the Simulation Hypothesis.

I've heard it called a number of things. Theory, argument, hypothesis. It's an old idea, and the Matrix got a good deal of mileage out of it. As a narrative device, you can see it in works like The Truman Show and Dark City, among many others (Source Code and eXistenZ come to mind).

My favourite exploration of it is Nick Bostrom's. Do yourself a favour and read it, if you get the chance (or haven't already). He assigns three propositions equal weight.

Getting Closer and Closer to falling in love with you...

On Princess Posts

Well, here I am, the typical mat maid falling for one of the wrestlers. Normally its no biggy, most stat girls are dating someone on the team. My big plot twist? I'm not only the team manager, but also, the coach's daughter. And unfortunately, daddy might not like me dating one of his kids. I mean, its not like he's a bad kid or anything, but let's face it. He's a high school boy. And high school boys talk to each other. What would people think if they found out he was dating a coach's daughter? Probably that he was only doing it to get out of log rolls at the end of practice. (Not that my dad would ever let him skip log rolls.) But people are people, and they will assume things. I know I shouldn't care what people think, and to be honest, I don't really. But I do care about what my dad thinks and this is his job. I feel like I shouldn't be creating issues for him at work because of my own selfish reasons. I just, don't know what to do at this point...

That being said...

I Really like this guy. I mean, obviously he's a wrestler which gives him like 10,000 brownie points. But its more than that, he's like REALLY shy, he always looks down and talks very quietly. But when you get him to open up to you, when you see him laugh... OH EM GEE. It just gives me the most amazing feeling. It's like, my heart is glowing, and melting all at the same time. And his family is WONDERFUL! He has a sister who is like, one of THE nicest people ever. And his mom! She is such a gem! His dad is sort of shy like he is, but he's still a great guy. and ARGHHHH I just, the more I think about him the more I'm imagining my life with him and how fun, and simple it would be. At this point, that's exactly what I'm looking for. I don't need to complicate things, I just want to spend all the time I can with him, and just, be with him.

But I have to wait.

I mean, he's a senior, so this is his last year being on my dad's team. So as soon as this season is over, there shouldn't be a problem with me dating him right? The only problem is he's like, a REALLY GOOD wrestler, so I'm sure he's going to state.. and that means I have to wait even LONGER! Arghhh. But oh well, I mean, if anyone's worth waiting for, its definitely him.(:

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