Shut Up and Take My Hand

Or yno...shut up and fuck off


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Are problems really problems?

Yes I'm in school while I'm writing this post but hehe what does that matter~? Ok, so onto todays topic- problems. Or are they problems at all? Specifically talking about mental problems btw but I guess all problems come into this topic ^ ^ So I've got 'depression' but though I say that - its not like I've been medically diagnosed, therefore strictly speaking, I'm 'completely mentally healthy' :p All I know is that I have my moments where life just seems pointless, I seem pointless and hopeless and worthless and I honestly and deeply contemplate on the idea of death. I have cut myself, even if I think its a weak thing to do, but I also find it genuinely helps. And I don't regret it after or feel like it makes me an even worse person to do it like many other people I know. Cutting honestly helps me, not saying that I turn to it every time I feel depressed but yeah a few times. Probably because of the rush that comes from it? And the sensation of cutting yourself is very surreal, really interesting and easy to get swallowed up by.

But does feeling suicidal make you depressed? Does feeling like you have nothing to live for or wondering why you've even lived so long in the first place make you actually depressed or is it just something everyone goes through?

My problems aren't the biggest in this world, aren't the biggest to affect someone my age, aren't the biggest to affect someone my age in my general circumstances either. Im blessed with a generally healthy body with all my limbs and no disabilities, friends I can talk to if I need them, an overall supportive family and a lover who's always there for me - what more could I ask for?

I can't even pin point why I feel depressed, it just kinda falls on me, loads of different small reasons all just fall on me at once and it feels like drowning- not a particularly pleasant feeling :p

Hehe think I'm gonna end up with a question every day so I guess I should call this 'segment' Question of the Day? QOOTD? Yeah lets go with that XD

Let Me Keep My Mask On

On Manic Moments Beyond Wonderland

"Take that mask off and let the real you exist!"

I hear this a lot.

I do exist and I sit beside you on the bus, a table across you in a restaurant, the person behind you in a supermarket line, the one you see alone in the park, the girl you see dancing in the rain, the drunk who passed out, the stoic co-worker. This is ALL me. I am here.

I exist and I am experiencing this unrelenting illness that is depression. People ask me to "snap out of it" all the time like it was that easy.

Newsflash - It's not easy. Never was. Never will be. I would've gladly "snapped" myself out of it already if it was that easy.

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