A while back, a girl I barely knew told me something interesting 'you seem really interesting, like you've got a lot of secrets' ._. Errrr...ok?
To be honest I don't know if I'd agree. Well yeah there's a LOT said person didn't know about me, but of course, I barely knew/know her. And I'm not just not including her name for privacy reasons I just...don't remember her name ._.
Hmm well lets see, there are I'd say, about two people who know 'everything' about me. In quotation marks cuz there's still I'd presume, things that these two people don't know about me, not things I intentionally hide or avoid but just things that they don't know yet. These two people are my best friend, Bunny~! And my boyfriend (do I just call you Dobbsy on here ._.?)
And these people know a lot about me since I communicate with them frequently, on various different 'levels'. We talk about stupid, trivial matters, topical things and wider philosophical ideas as well as sometimes about ourselves, flaws and good points. I think it's because I communicate with them so frequently that these people know so much about me. Obviously its cuz I'm comfortable with them and I trust them that I feel so free when it comes to talking about more sensitive topics or showing them my weaknesses.
That said, its not like I hide anything in particular about myself. Well...lets see. I act around people a lot but I still wouldn't say I hide anything about me. I just act more happy, more sociable than I would be if I were with people who I were comfortable around. Though, if I were around people that made me feel comfortable, I wouldn't have to ACT happy.
My blog, being on the internet, is pretty much view able by anyone. I don't think I'm wrong in presuming that my friends know about my blog? And not just know it exists but I think at some point or the other, they jotted down the URL, though whether they've read it or not is another thing. But once again, its not like I'm hiding my thoughts, or the fact that I'm in a relationship, or that I'm not always in the greatest mind set.
Even 'sensitive' things, I don't mind other people knowing, I just don't like having to explain things to people, or talking to people who don't understand, about topics that just make me want to cry. Like on here, its not as if I hide the fact that I cut before, or that I've tried to end it all, the relationship with my parents isn't perfect and that's revealed on here too. If anything, rather than being a secretive person, I consider myself quiet open.
What I said about communicating with Bunny and Dobbsy (Dobbsy it is XD), I see Bunny (oh god the urge to call her 'Bunny-chan' <3) every day at school, though its not like we spend lunch or break together, which would be the typical time used to talk right? Out side of school, me and her spend quite a number of time on the phone together, girls can talk a lot haha XD Other than that we also have a shared journal, so even if she's not here or if either one of us is too busy to phone, then we always have that book to write in, quiet comforting knowing theres always someone you can turn to if you have a problem. Though, as much as I love Bunny, there are still things I'm reluctant to talk to her about. Depression is one thing for example that nyeh don't want to tell her much about, she's a great friend, very supportive and someone I actually feel comfortable crying in front of, so I want to be able to tell her whats wrong with me properly. Thing is, its just not as easy as I hoped...anyways thats a different topic oops '¬ ¬
And with Dobbsy well I talk with him every day soooo ._. And since he already knows so much about me, its easy for me to tell him whats wrong or just talk without keeping my guard up.
In contrast, with general school mates and even my own family, I just don't talk with them all that much. With my sisters, yeah sometimes and when we do sit and chat, its normally for hours at a time and generally upbeat, but I don't talk with them about anything more sensitive, and NEVER about myself. I mean, for one thing, they don't even think I'm serious when I say I'm pretty bummed out XD 'Just doing it for attention' of course :p
Communication is very important if you want to be close with someone (duh XD) and I'd say in the past few years, many people who I considered 'close' to me, backed out of my life due to their own reasons and I got a new start, I realized how deep my friendship with Bunny was. Like a little brat, I had always taken her and her support and love for granted, never truly understand or appreciating everything she did for me without even noticing. Now, however, I'd like to think that me and her are close and I can give her the same love and support that she has to me :)
About what 'that girl' said, yeah to her I must seem pretty interesting, secretive I guess. I mean, I know my aura to other people is I guess different? (other than being apparently promiscuous XD) And since theres things she doesn't know about me, those things even without being mentioned kind of appear as a black space, its not like I hide things from her, or people in general, theres just things they don't know.
Mostly because its waaay too troublesome to have to explain things XD
QOTD: Are you an open or a secretive person? Who knows most about you (other than yourself :p) and who do you communicate with most?
Till next time gues ^ _ ~ <3