I started this as a personal growth thing. I don't know, but maybe when I'm thirty or something I'll remember how stupid I was now:
Dear future self:
I'd like to refer to "future me" as "you" and present me as "me" to help keep things clear. I hope you can learn to keep your spaces clean. I'm sorry, but I am disgusting. I know I should clean up after myself but it's so hard to every day when I'm trying to compose and practice and work and everything at once. Anyway, I'm trying really hard to be the best musician. I mean, I guess I could practice more - who couldn't? But hopefully I make you proud.
Juries are next week, and since I never did one, I'm super nervous about performing in front of so many staff. I should practice, but I need a break. If I do anything music and school related I might crash. I'm breaking it up with downloading all my sheet music I got. :)
I hope you can realize that you've come a long way since you began, depending on when you read this. I know things are hard for us but it's hard for everyone. We just have to keep going. Well, I meant to write more to you since I want you to have something to read, but I'm trying to do work. Finals are coming up and I can't fail.
On Sweet Impermanence
review 12 to 18 Jul
On Thu I presented my paper to a audience at the university. I decided to present to have a feedback from other researchers about the paper and to push myself further on finish the paper. My boss review the paper on 12th and on Sun I read the comments. On Mon and Tue I searched for new references and did some reading. On Wed I procrastinate a little bit to start really work on the presentation (on Mon and Tue I work a bit on the presentation). I could observe myself procrastinating... It's weird how sometimes I can be so passive on this, and leave the things that have to be done aside. Conclusion... I sleep just 4 hours on Wed.
My other habits and practices turned a mess on Wed, Thu and Fri.
So, my review this week is that it was good to push a little bit the work on the paper. But I was feeling discomfort. So, on Wed I procrastinate and start to work late. The discomfort is big this week, because my boss review the paper and I have mixed feelings about it: I want to address the comments, but when I start to read them, I realize that I have a lot of work to do...
The acceptance practice I did everyday except on Wed and Fri, when I didn't meditated. I'm practicing acceptance on may dimensions and this is a relieve and give me peace.