At first I was going to title this talking VS doing, but the whole point is that you need both.
I'm sure you've all heard "Don't talk the talk, walk the walk" or some variation of it, point being you need to follow through with your actions. "Actions speak louder than words" too.
And this is true for the most part. But you need both. You can't just rely on the doing, even moreso today than 50 years ago (of course I wasn't around 50 years ago so I could be mistaken).
In the vast majority of cases, a person should follow the traditional advice so they err on the side more doing, less talking. But, if you're smart or productive and have legit value to the world, often the doing isn't enough. In fact, the highly competent people could probably reverse the old sayings and turn out better.
In my own life, I've never been the popular one or the guy who has had the most friends. I have a lot of really good friends, but when we're talking about the superficial, large layer of friends that everyone has (facebook friends 200 thru 1000 or so), I'd say I'm lacking severely in notoriety. Because I'm not a talker. At every level of school, there have been people who know everyone, and I was not one of those.
And it's simple why- I'm not a hater, although I do think the majority of people I've come in contact with aren't worth me becoming friends with. It's not because I dislike people or have lacking social skills (well, maybe I'm blissfully unaware- you can never rule that out). It's true some groups of people I just don't click with, but of everyone I know I probably have the most diverse group of friends.
The reason why is because I don't use my time to foster relationships, but rather I accomplish stuff. Neither is necessarily better than the other, but when I have ideas I tend to go for them. Put it this way: if I spent my time talking about my programming projects, I would not have enough time to actually do them. As it is, I'm severely behind on my tasks, and with programming you need a level of focus that just doesn't come unless you give it uninterrupted time.
If I spend one hour and get interrupted just three times, that whole hour is fucked (alright that's not always true but it certainly was when I was just starting out). You're certainly less productive when not in the zone.
So, if it seems like I'm being antisocial or if I don't want to meet, it's not because of my distaste for a person (usually). It's more likely because I got shit to do.
On the flip side, talking is necessary if your project requires others. If you're a business- you pretty much have to advertise.
I think they're teaching business majors nowadays to the point where none of them makes their own product. Get this- if you're starting a furniture business, you don't need wood, and you don't need to know how to make furniture. You just need a supplier. My mind was blown when I heard that.
Why is that the case? Because in today's world, talkers win. And not every talker wins, since like 90% of people are primarily talkers and aren't offering anything tangible. Doers win too, once they collaborate with talkers. They just don't win as big.
There's a reason why middle managers are viewed with contempt. The stereotype is that they don't do anything, but rather only manage (i.e. talk) people. But I bet a lot of the people doing the complaining aren't doing much either, and that's okay. However, it does highlight that people generally believe the "more doing less talking" proverb- it's just that it's rarely followed.
But back to the main point- talking is necessary. You think the people best suited to run the country in terms of ability get far in politics? Probably not. But who do people end up voting for? The people who yell the loudest. I don't have time to meet 300,000,000 people and then weigh the pros and cons of each one of them as President.
When I did Tae Kwon Do, we were taught never to start a fight. In a lot of martial arts, fighting is viewed as a last resort. But on the playground, the big mean tough kids are the guys who are known as the toughest. You don't mess with them because of their reputation- their words. But you never know what's actually true. And if the martial artist doesn't tell you, how are you to know?
Business is probably the most obvious example. In business, you could have the best product. You could have carved a super chair that reverses the detrimental aging effects of sitting, but if you don't tell anybody, how is anyone to know? You think General Mills, Lays, Dell, etc are the best at making what they make? Hell no (although I do like Lays potato chips). Brand name cereal is often the exact same, it's just that GM thinks up a talking Toucan and blasts his message across living rooms nationwide. Same product, the difference is in the talking.
So next time you want to utter any well-known proverb (interestingly, why are these well-known? Because people talked about them, not because they're necessarily true) about talking vs doing, remember that both are necessary. Sure I like to think my doing is more important than another's talking, and I'm probably right since talkers are a dime a dozen. But I wouldn't be anywhere had people not done the talking for me (or in some cases I did my own talking). Great ideas are great, but nobody knows they're great unless you tell them, or at least divulge their existence.
Sometimes, eventually, a decision must be made - Fr. Anthony Odiong, one of the wisest people I've ever met
I've heard this from several people now, and it makes sense: Tough decisions don't matter, since the reason why they're tough is presumably because the risk/reward for all of the options is nearly equal and thus neither is clearly better. But since they're nearly equal, why not just pick one?
Obviously this isn't prudent in every case, but spending a lot of time deliberating certainly can't be the best option.
On the other hand, due to circumstances, sometimes it does pay to take more time for reasons having nothing to do with the decision itself. I'll use an example: social networks. While obviously there are many reasons why Facebook took off whereas Myspace et all didn't, being first certainly didn't help Myspace. In fact, I remember most of my friends switching to Facebook because it was "a better social network than Myspace".
Think about that. If Myspace and Xanga hadn't been around, the concept of 'social network' wouldn't have existed. Then there would be nothing to compare it to. Now if Facebook had come around a couple years later, there might've been an entirely different giant in that niche. They launched at an optimal time.
If anyone else is like me, they have more than one 'version' of themselves and each one serves almost a different purpose. For example, I'm the happy, confident and generally carefree me in front of my friends and mostly my family, however, with a certain group of my friends, the closer ones to me the people I actually trust, I also show them the me when I'm down and vulnerable. And of course with my lover I show him all of me, when I'm happy and carefree as well as when Im troubled or depressed ^ ^
So that's images - what other people show us and what we choose to show other people. Next is masks. Basically the same but with more of a 'hiding' element to it. So for example, a few days back I was feeling super depressed, really sick of life and I was only online to try and distract myself from my suicidal thoughts when a friend began talking to me. Talking to him, I had to act completely normal, which to be honest can be pretty tiring especially when I was already feeling so exhausted mentally to begin with.
Wearing masks in front of people has become basically second nature to me and I do it naturally like everyone else, to hide my weaknesses from other people. Not only my friends but my family, pretending I'm ok even when inside I'm torn apart. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not playing it like I'm the only person on earth who does this, I have to yet to find someone who doesn't, but I just want some more opinions on this and maybe some clarification as to why I don't feel like I can trust my family?
Also, I'm really selfish. Even when I hide my pain from other people, I sort of still expect them to notice I'm not ok, really selfish I know and basically seeking attention but sometimes I think we all need that- someone who can understand how youre feeling without you telling them. My boyfriend always somehow seems to be able to tell that I'm feeling depressed sometimes even before I notice which is pretty crazy but also rather nice; knowing theres someone out there you don't have to act in front of, who loves you and understands you and knows you as well as you know yourself ^ ^
Next is 'worlds', not literal worlds hence why its in quotation marks. Like many people, I keep my personal and family life apart. Yes I call it personal not social simply cuz I find that I 'socialize' with people I don't trust and include my friends as part of 'personal' since these are the people I trust.