Muse.I.Am

I muse, therefore I am.

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Time, She Marches

On Muse.I.Am

Today I made my mother cry. Were there Olympic medals for stoicism, my mom would be in the running, so this was no mean feat. We both cried. (Well, leaked a bit from the eyes. Generally speaking, that's as close to crying as my mom and I am wont to get. And then, rarely. Oh, so rarely.)

Fortune turns on a dime. Just last night, as part of my renewed gratefulness practice, I had been thankful that today I would get to move her from the skilled nursing facility, back to her home in assisted living, to rejoin her regular life and her beloved kitty, Missy. We'd had her second care conference late last week, and all had agreed today was the day; the assisted living facility had said she could come back.

They also made it clear that this was the last time; the next time she had to go to the hospital, she would be over their highest level of care. As it is, she's been right at the top, and we weren't sure she'd be able to go back last time, but she worked like a trooper, and got herself at the level necessary. And again this time. All was well for one more round, and we were hugely relieved.

I Wanna Be the Human Whisperer (but instead I do the butt walk)

On like an apple

The wonderful supermom Mary over at Contrary Mom posted today about feeling like a bad mom for yelling at her kids. I think we have all been there (see photo above, a selfie during one particular day home with baby Sam and then-3yo Gus feeling like a total failure and nearly in tears myself: I like to think of those bad old days as the "time of troubles").

I think it's really sad and harmful the way people, especially women, often put so much pressure on themselves to be perfect parents. And to love it too! God forbid one should talk about how hard, frustrating, discouraging, tedious, and even depressing it can be, at times, attending to little ones' needs. That's why I love Contrary Mom and the other "keeping it real" mom blogs I have found through this wordpress blogging adventure, like Miss Fanny P., Kerry and her winding road, Danielle at momseyeview, and others I'm forgetting.

At the same time, like Mary I really regret when I yell at my kids. I am thankful that with mine (like with Mary's) the yelling is unusual enough and the general atmosphere loving enough that they will even tell me when I'm yelling. But, still. I'd just like to do it less. I guess I first really started thinking about it after hearing about and reading about the Orange Rhino's challenge way back when she started it.

One way I found to talk about the situation with my boys--the situation being, my bad habit of yelling, their bad habit of ignoring me, and how to improve the situation--was in watching Supernanny. It was actually my older son who started watching it randomly one day. We have Netflix and he's pretty much a sucker for any reality show. (Not kidding: right now he likes the Turtleman, and if you don't know who that is, thank God). So he was watching it. And I noticed that some of the problems were, well, things that went on in our family too.

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