I muse, therefore I am.


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I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet...

...I feel the sky tumbling down. Well, sort of. I kind of tend to tumble down. Or rather, if I were not trailing a hand along any wall, furniture, or supporting surface at hand, I would be. While the hearing loss is distressing and annoying, I'd have to say the vertigo/dizziness is much worse.

So today was my first full day of Prednisone. I opted to stay home and see what would happen, rather than trying to be out and about. This means tomorrow is errand day, and as I sit at my computer at 2:36 a.m. typing this, I'm wondering if that was a miscalculation. We shall see.

One of the many side effects of this drug is that it plays merry hell with your blood sugar. In some cases it can even bring on diabetes. Since my family is riddled with that disease on both sides, this is something I want to avoid. I've been flirting with the idea of doing a complete sugar purge, and trying to reset my sugar cravings, which have been ginormous ever since getting a wee bit peri-menopausal. Plus, the damned stuff is like crack for some of us, and I'm one of the some of us.

Just Another Blog

On Don't Kill The Cow Too Quick

In starting again on my blog I am wondering if anyone other than Emma and I will read it. I ask myself who would want to read the blog of an 80 year old who never achieved notoriety through ability or crime. My children and grandchildren are much too busy with their own lives and my close friends know enough about me already.

This morning I was close to telling Emma that there is no point in my blogging; not even in the attempt to have more people read DKTCTQ, the favorite of my books.

As I was composing my message to Emma I started to wonder what would happen to my brain if I limited myself to watching the birds in my garden. Identifying the different birds would be a challenge but one that would come to an end and leave me with watching my papaya’s grow which is no challenge. I saw that I needed the mental exercise of writing.

Following on from this point I saw writing a blog as way to satisfy the demands of Hamish, my oldest son, for a written account of my maverick life. I am going to see if besides writing about the present I can incorporate periodic vignettes of the extraordinary events in my life which took me to many parts of the world during the twenty years of the disillusion of the British Empire and thereafter into the heart of the London art world and thence to the USA and eventually to Panama

There are many aspects of my life that I am ashamed off because they were decidedly unethical. Being an irresponsible risk-taker and a shameful hedonist, much of what I caused to happen was disgraceful. On the other side of the coin I was and still am a pushover for those who recognize that there is a part of me that puts instant trust in those who proffer friendship. Maybe there are lessons for others to learn from my failures.

Rendering New Theme...