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Hope is Sometimes a Cruel Mistress

We all have times when we wrestle with hope. She's a motivator, she is, but also a destroyer. Maybe sort of Shiva-like?

I got to have a glimmer of happy-happy-hope joy on Saturday, when upon waking, things seemed a bit better. Not so much insta-tipsy-whoopsie, a definite lessing of the ongoing soundtrack in left ear, and maybe, maybe, what felt like just a bit of hearing retrieval. Alas, such improvements were either hallucinatory hope, or real, but just very short-lived.

Hope's a cruel mistress indeed. All of us have had to wrestle with it at one time or another. From the hopes of childhood - the boy we want to sit next to us on the bus, the teachers we hoped to impress, the friends who came and went, and we wished to best, or not be bested by, or simply to keep in our orbit - well, those hopes may seem small in comparison to today, but I think that's just because it's so hard to actually remember how passionate we were then, how much we could want.

Taking a Break from Polyphasic!

On Tynan

Sounds drastic, right? I've decided that I'm going to take a break from polyphasic sleep - probably 3-4 weeks. As of today I've been doing it for about 4.5 months, and I feel like I have a good feel for what it's like.

The truth is that napping during the day isn't hard to do, but it is definitely disruptive - especially to other people. For example, last week a friend from San Francisco was in town for South by Southwest. I was hanging out with him and his friends, when all of a sudden it was nap time. They basically had to sit around and wait for me to take my nap, or lose my company. If I was deriving great benefit from the schedule, it would be worth such social impositions, but I'm not really getting that much from it.

I don't really need the extra time right now. I thought I would make good use of it, but I honestly don't. If I was super busy, then I would be more motivated to stay on polyphasic sleep. Also, no one else is doing it with me anymore, so my options for what to do during the night are fairly limited. Because I don't really need the sleep, and usually don't have too much to do at night, I end up slightly oversleeping. This means that I probably sleep 4-4.5 hours per day on average.

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