A friend from high school recently became a father. I thought he would go through life without children and be the happiest about it and was surprised then when he announced on Twitter that he and his wife were expecting a daughter in May 2013. My second thought was that he was going to be a great dad. There's only one thing you have to do to be a great dad; you have to give a shit.
That's it. You have to care about your kid and act that way. Care about their health and growth and your family as three instead of two. The moments I find myself not being a good parent or husband is when I'm letting things slide. When I'm not reading books because I'm too tired or not listening to the person in my life because I'm looking at the iPhone screen of things that aren't.
When I care though, I'm the fucking best, and you are too. When you pay attention to your kids and pursue what's best for them you are a Jedi, an all-star, a rock-star. You are like a god to them, in their little lives they are entirely dependent on you and they understand on some level what you're doing for them. They see you caring for them. They see you giving a shit. They're like little Hobbits wandering around Mordor and the Misty Mountains and you are Gandalf the Grey.
There is a lot of parenting that's hard because it's tough to care so much so often, it's draining. When you care though, when you really give a shit about it, that feeling is the logs that you use as fuel, the coal for the engine, the arc reactor for an Iron Man suit. All you need is the spark and those are everywhere. It's a smile, a laugh, a fond remembrance of what your life was like before kids and a contented smile that it was nice but this is better. The spark could be knowing you have the fuel to burn to be a great parent. Once the spark meets fuel you'll be off again.
Many times in life we overly complicate things and babies are no exception considering all the things we buy to care for them but the way we act is simple, unitary. Give a shit.
On Observations on Society
Let's get something cleared up. I alone was responsible for the creation of justice4victims.org, and I alone took the decision to discontinue the service.
I apologize wholeheartedly to those which followed our progress, and particularly the 50,000 or so which interacted with us, and it was indeed a dreadful decision for me to have to make, particularly after all the hard work that went into creating it; I in no way want any of those people to think I turned my back on the cause or reneged on my mission. The reason was simple: the landscape has changed - the country has changed.When justice4victims.org was created we were angry! We were under a pathetic government which cared more about protecting care and justice professionals than ordinary people, a government which turned violent offending into affray and anti-social behaviour, which freed rapists and murderers to brutally offend again and again, whilst prosecuting decent people for protecting themselves against violent intruders. The country was in serious contrition, and justice4victims.org was called for, it was necessary, and it achieved a lot of followers.
But then, over the six years of justice4victims.org something changed - when all hope seemed lost, something truly confidence-inspiring happened: Britain saw sense, and voted out the bad seed. Now, after what seems a lifetime, we finally appear to have a government with its priorities in the right place, whose criminal justice policies actually seem to be on our side. Those 50,000 followers started to dwindle, people stopped desperately feeling that they needed the discourse ofjustice4victims.org, and started instead using its resources; although I didn't mind this, the hours upon hours of work going into running it could not really be justified as a student resource - nobody who worked on the project was being paid a single penny, and, quite frankly, we were pleased - optimism was growing. justice4victims.org was originally created to motivate people into action - quite radically. But that was a different lifetime - and, to my pleasure, I started to feel it was no longer relevant. After 6 years, I decided to give it up and move on with our life.
Now don't get me wrong - there is still much wrong with our country. Many social problems still presently overlooked. The current government, superheroes as they may be, does not have the fundamental answer to everything. BUT I DO!