Since I have no reason what I'm actually gonna type here I decided to just go with this title. It sucks, I know.
Well okay I guess I'm just going to tell a little bit about myself.
- My name is Emma but you can call me Em or whatever you like. Be creative. I dare you.
- I'm 19 years old
- I'm studying International Media and Entertainment management but after this I want to do my masters in something related to screenwriting.
- No I don't actually know what I'm going to do with my life
- I'm more of a live in the moment kind of girl. I'll see what life brings to me. (doesn't mean I don't dream about my future though)
- English is not my first language (apologies in advance for any annoying mistakes I'm probably going to make)
- I love to write.
- I'm slightly addicted to television shows and partying.
- I'm currently in love with a girl and I have no idea what to do about that.
I get that you want to know more about me and this girl. Well.. let's just say I found out that I was bi last year when I suddenly had a crush on a friend of mine. Okay this totally sucked just so you know. I guess it's always been there I just never realized. Eventually we all got drunk and I told her and urgh it was pretty fucked up but we stayed friends. I think we're pretty good now, as far as possible of course.
Time went by, I kissed some guys (made some mistakes blabla you know it), and well... nothing really happened. I haven't told anyone beside a friend of mine who lives in England and well obviously that girl I had a crush on. My parents sort of know but the last time I tried to bring it up to my mom she got really mad and said it was just a phase. I don't want to make you think that she's a homophobic or something because she's not. She just doesn't really realize that I might be serious about this.
I met another girl after that and we had a date. It was okay. however, there's one thing about me, one simple rule: you have to be friends with me first or I'm not going to let you come close to me. (the exception of course being that I'm drunk). I'm not someone who falls in love online, or who lays there eyes on someone and knows right away (with the exception of someone I'll tell you about in a minute). I get scared easily when people get too close to me. I start pushing them away, until they get mad at me and I no longer know what to do. It's just what I do. I'm not being mean, I'm protecting myself. It kinda sucks. I guess I just don't want to end up like my parents did. In a crappy marriage where the only reason you're still together is because you don't want your children to grow up in separate houses. Like.. sometimes I think that might be a better option. I just want to scream in their faces "JUST GET THE FUCKING DIVORCE ALREADY." but I wouldn't dare.
Soooo okay. This girl. Well her name is Dionne. She's really really beautiful and extremely popular (this is not going to be one of those cheesy stories where the popular guys - or well in this case girl - falls in love with the nerdy girl.) and she's just the best ever. Most of the times. I won't bore you with all the details but the second I saw her I already thought she was the most pretty girl I had ever seen. But it was a year later at this party that I hadn't even wanted to go to in the first place (thank god I did) that we started talking. I had a really great time that night (I recall doing a happy dance in the bathroom but let's not get into that). I saw her again maybe two weeks and we kissed and I got her number. Sounds like it's going good right? Well the problem is she's very.. I don't even know the word... well.. she answers with only one word or like two whenever I'm texting her. Which of course made (and still makes) me think that she didn't like me. But then she invited me to her houseparty and it was awesome. She got super drunk though so even when she asked for a kiss later I didnt' because I wanted her to be able to remember. Now we still talk, but it's mostly me who starts the conversation. Sometimes she gives me these really shorts answers and then a second later she's flirting and asking questions. Let's just say she's driving me crazy.
Enough about my love life though. I have amazing friends (and a lot of them). Rainbow Dash. That's the name of the group of friends from school. There's about 20 of us. We hang out all the time and I've been through some amazing and hilarious stuff with these people. can't wait till we all get married and I'm going to show embarrassing pictures at everyone's wedding.
There's so much more to tell but I think I'm just going to leave it at this. I promise the next posts won't be such a mess of random information. They'll be actual stories of shit that happened to me. If anyone wants to comment please do! (some advice about what to do with Dionne would be great too haha)
For now though, I'm gonna go to sleep.