Michael: I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex.
Sam: Ah, come on. Nothing's more important than sex.
Michael: Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?
~ The Big Chill (1983)
Yesterday I was talking on Skype with a client of mine who is a dating coach. He teaches men how to destroy inhibitions and other weird behaviors so they can really express themselves around women.
In any case, we briefly discussed how some students are... how every single group of people will organize themselves into chunks of 5%, 15% and 80%.
In any group of people, there will be a top 5% who are kicking ass and taking names, 15% who are doing pretty good, and the bottom 80% who aren’t doing much of anything.
And... within that top 5%, there will be another top 5%, a 15% and a bottom 80%. Very interesting stuff if you ask me.
Anyway, it got me thinking how... out of the 7 principles of magnetism, number 7 is by far the most difficult to actually follow. [#7: “Take Everything Personally, Take Nothing Seriously”]
In the dating world, there are some men who are walking encyclopedias of dating advice and seduction know-how. They take it so far as to advice other people online and even in real life. They know what to do. They’re experts...
... Experts who do not personally have a successful dating life. In part because they stay locked in their cave trying to sound intelligent online.
The idea of taking everything personally is a very large concept I won’t go into detail about here (read my book) but on a micro-scale, it can be very simple.
Like simply deciding to DO something with everything you learn.
I know plenty of walking, talking, veritable marketing Capital-J-Jeeniuses... who have extraordinarily crappy websites.
They happily share their wisdom with others, but somehow cannot seem to apply it for themselves.
This is like, an epidemic in all information marketing businesses, or for anyone who gives advice to people.
You give your advice, and your audience will nod their heads and smile in agreement...
... and then, invariably, without fail, they will find some reason or some irrational way to make it so that advice applies to everyone alive... except for themselves.
The “my customers are different” excuse. Every business owner thinks that their customers are different, and therefore this amazing marketing strategy won’t work for them.
Not only that, but everyone seems to think that they and their circumstances are also different.
In the first chapter of my book there is an exercise I think you should follow that will force quantum leaps in your social freedom and your self-image, self-confidence, and whole bunches of other cool things like that. It involves a relatively user-friendly way to strike up conversations with strangers. Sounds like a weird thing to do without the full context of the exercise, but for now just trust me on this one.
Anyway, I got a bunch of people who emailed me and said “Oh, but I am 42 years old, have a wife and two children... I can’t go around talking to strangers!” ... uhm... what? What on earth does your family situation have to do with your ability to move your feet and use your vocal cords?
Nothing, that’s what.
Just another way to make it so that MY ADVICE THAT THEY FULLY AGREE WITH will not apply to them.
As I have said before, our biggest NEED as human beings, way above things like food, shelter, survival and reproduction... is our need to stay within our comfort zone. Just stay in that little box marked “my perception of the world.”
That box is what you think is reality, and everything outside of that box is a violation of what is real. Right? Yeah.
I have been having difficulty explaining to people what my book is about... and I guess, more than anything it is about smashing that box, and living in the world honestly, box-free.
My advice for today: Pay special attention to Habit #7. It’s very important. Once you embrace it, your world will never be the same.
It's still only $2.99 on amazon at the time of this writing. WIll probably go up in the relatively near future.
Word count: 666. Hah.
Today’s listening music: ‘Round Midnight - Art Pepper