Some people think they need to find "home" to live in the light, depending on their disposition, you might call them seekers. I want to tell seekers that they really have two options, there is "home" or there's what we choose to do with our lives, and the best choice before finding "home" is sublimation of negative emotion into positive creation of some kind. Whether that's helping someone else to feel better, committing to living more ethically, or creating art - there are so many ways to take what holds us down and use it as fuel to act in accordance with our higher selves. The paradoxical danger of sublimation is that it solves our problem of suffering and thus stops us finding the ultimate solution of becoming at "home". Probably, sublimation should be used but also there's something more we should not stop searching for despite better managing our emotions and behaviors. Positive emotions can be fleeting, unless we find the joy of our Spirit. Negative emotions can be crippling if we don't have a meaningful daily task list and schedule that keeps us going. The thing that makes this all so comical is that all this trauma and heartache exists only in the mind, which in itself is an illusion. The ego is formed from the thought of separateness thinking that "I" am the doer, instead of holding steady that there are universal forces, some may call them God, who are in fact in control of all things. We think that our reactions to external events are justified and natural but they in fact bind us to Maya and ignorance and to our smaller selves, our egos, our minds. Spirit is infinite, it is a reflection of the All Pervading, that is who we are, if we can only realize it. That's not just a mental recognition, it's a becoming that happens through Self-Realization, but even just knowing this mentally can be liberating to a degree.(I would urge you not to be satisfied with illusory mental understanding though) People however are often lost in their feelings and only the feeling of liberation from connecting wholely with one's Spirit is satisfying enough to stop all further desires. The only eternal desire is to become one with God. The only true knowledge is the eternal knowledge, all else fades away as the temporal body leaves us and we pass back into the realm of pure consciousness (results varying depending on our individual fates and levels of perception at the time of passing). The Buddhists say that life is dukkha (suffering), and that the transcendence of dukkha comes from eliminating all desire and attachments. The detachment to everything temporal happens effortlessly when we become attached to experiencing our Spirit. Spirituality is the most practical thing, it solves all our human wants and tribulations. God will overflow your cup with love and joy, if you only sit and open your hands to receive it. Truth is a paradox, you have to close your eyes to open them.
It's your choice, you can receive your Self-Realization and start your journey of Spirit today.
It can be a long and painful process to detach from our past. The past, both good and bad, is nothing but an illusion, and being bound to it and losing our identity to it can be self-destructive. You are not your mistakes, you are not even your accomplishments, these are all just layers of our egoic identities which do not account for our transcendent self, the Spirit.
Enlightened perspectives aside, there's much practicality to indulging into the temporal self and cultivating a healthy pride in our personalities and accomplishments. There are even benefits to the experience of shame. Although the "progressive" see shame as some socially constructed enslavement we experience as we fail to conform to the standards of the day, there is a much more independent source of shame that we can become aware of as we grow in our spirituality. This shame experience overlaps with our indulgence into adharma. As we do wrong in an objective sense, we feel shame. This sense of shame can benefit us, allowing us to self correct and keep ourselves out of the negative temptations of life, but if we learn, especially at a young age, to be shameless, we'll not have the benefit of this source of conscience within us.
Not all negative affect is beneficial, of course. Guilt for one does nothing to help us grow. It, like other elements of our superego and conditionings, attaches us to our past and holds us down. Guilt ruins the joy of Spirit and keeps us from the truth and progress. The institution of Christianity contributed to this indulgence into guilt with original sin. The human being becomes, not a beautiful potential for evolution, not part and parcel of God Almighty, but some deeply flawed and corrupted, or at least corruptible, entity, banished from the Garden of Eden for crossing a line that, in reality, quite the opposite of burdening humanity with self awareness, set the human race free! Free to make choice in full understanding of good and evil, and by that freedom, we're blessed and cursed to responsibility and consequence of these karmas.
The burden of our memories can often be too much to bear. Past traumas, childhood experiences with our parents or from our early school days with our peers, adharmic sexual transgressions from before we chose better for ourselves, all the mistakes we've made and all the ways we've been victimized in our lives - the imprints of these disturbances can leave ugly boot prints next to our flower beds, leading to sleepless nights and internal discontent, anger and fear.
One exercise that I've personally found very helpful (but need to continue to use to fully understand the benefits) was recommended by H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi. The process is essentially a method of redecorating our minds and erasing our negative memories by reapplying memories of joyous experience over these troubling times. Essentially, you want to assiduously remember memories from your collection of joyous experiences - experiences of powerful pure love, your Self-Realization experience if you've received it already, perhaps even experiences with innocence, anything powerful and positive, especially joyous (joy is a non-dual and Divine emotion that resides in Truth), and use these beautiful memories to encode over your past experiences when you think of them. Just divert your attention and these traumas will lose their power over you. Like erasing tracks in the desert by adding fresh sand to where steps have previously walked, in this way, your mind will no longer attend the old memories and you'll gradually be freed from the influence of your past.
Pride is such a destruction. I heard a story today that reinforced that thought. This may or may not be obvious but it awoke me when I understood it: why does God make intimacy before marriage, drinking, doing drugs, abortion, homosexuality, being proud, and a number of other things, sin? I thought long and hard about this.
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way;" (aka being selfish) "...it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." -1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
When we drink and drive, we hurt others and ourselves. That's not love. When we are proud we could end up killing ourselves and hurt others... Just because I don't mention all of the things I noted above does not mean they don't hurt us or someone else. Thinking of ourselves is selfish and thinking that we don't hurt someone else or someone else's family is a false thought. Even when these wrongdoings seem okay to all parties, there is One party to which this is not acceptable! GOD.
God is a judge and to say "I rather be judged by God than by men" is a thought that ought to be reprimanded since we barely know what we think we know about God and who He is. I'm not perfect nor is anyone on this earth, except for One. Jesus. He went to the cross for us!! Why keep sinning consciously and uncontrollably? (What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2 By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? -Romans 6:1-2). I recommend reading all of the chapter.
If you haven't yet, accept Jesus Christ. He's growing near and His grace and sacrifice will always be there but not always open. Don't risk it thinking you have tomorrow. You never know if tomorrow will be here...For You.