Honesty Honestly.

A girl with a lot of thoughts.

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Advice we can all help each other with.

First let me start off by saying that love is deadly. It is crazy to one day hit this certain time in your life where you look at your boyfriend/girlfriend and realize I'm not just interested in you, I am completely infatuated with you.

It is impossible to say you have never loved. Somewhere out in the world whether its a friend or a family member you love them. And if they left you, you would hurt. But the big one I want to discuss is being in love with someone because thats where its serious. If you haven't been one of those people yet feel lucky because with love comes pain.

If you have loved someone and been hurt from it, there is a guarenteed sadness that comes from it, you shed some tears but I promise you move on. When you have hit the "I am in love with you", this is where you realize "What would I do without this person, because i am so utterly one with them that I literally can not imagine life without them."

Let me tell you, I am a guilty member of those trying to recover from an "i was/still/and will always be in love with you" heartbreak.

My Crush Of 1996.

On The Amused Fly

I can never really pinpoint when my first real crush was. It might have been in fourth grade when I use to eye goggle a girl I believe whose name was Jessica. She had beautiful eyes, brunette hair and she always wore a purple coat everywhere she went. I mean almost all the time when I saw her. Thankfully I didn’t have a full grasp of what would arouse me of a woman’s body so I wasn’t in dire frustration. It was all about face for me. And it still is. Whenever I see a beautiful woman walking down the street I always have to make sure to see her face. I guess it is part of my aesthetic checklist.

But if I had to pinpoint my first real crush it would have to be in the summer of 1996. It was the year of the Atlanta Olympics. I was watching the U.S. gymnastics team perform when I saw for the first time the girl who would take over my whole summer. Dominique Moceanu. She was performing her floor routine. It was basically a timed musical dance but with tons of more flipping. Moceanu was performing under the song “Cotton Eyed Joe”. A horrible song, but with her dancing and gymnastic prowess I could care less for the crappy country song. She pranced, she swayed and by the time she was done I was trying to name our five kids that we would soon have together.

Now in 1996 the internet was new for me just like everyone else. But this new technological resource for me was used every waking moment trying to find pictures of Dominique Moceanu whenever I can. I don’t know what I did once I saw them but I knew that I had to download any picture (before we shortened that word into pic) just to get a glimpse of her. I don’t know what she presented in me but I do know that everything around me ceased to function once I saw her on television or on my computer.

I didn’t know about her biography but from quick tidbits that I listened to from the over enthusiastic commentators of the Olympics she was born in California to Romanian parents. She started to learn gymnastics at the age of three which I hear is little too early for them to start but not too early. Take that from what you will. At the age of ten she trained with the famous BélaKárolyi. The rest is history. Moceanu went on to be part of the world famous Magnificent Seven alongside Shannon Miller, Dominique Dawes, Kerri Strug, Amy Chow, Amanda Borden, and Jaycie Phelps. I followed their work like the equivalent to a thirteen year old girl cutting out pictures of One Direction. It still boggles me today why no music manager in 1996 ever wanted to make a musical record with them. I would so buy their Album covering Abba songs. I would have gone to their concerts and start a fan club the moment there first single came out on Mtv. I would have started a fan club and it could have been called the “I Heart Moceanu” of course but the others would get my attention as well……sort of.

It was a big year for the seven gymnasts. For years the Russians were kicking our ass and this was the first Olympics that the Americans won a gold medal as a team. So more press and that meant more times for me to look at the beautiful Roman princess. Sure everyone was paying attention to Keri Strug because of her miraculous blah, blah, blah, but Moceanu was all I cared about. What made me admire Moceanu the most was she never cried. It was something to see. Every time any other gymnast made a mistake like miss a turn, flop a flip, or drop on their face, when they finished they walked towards their coach and started balling. Not Moceanu. She literally fell on her head on a balance beam and I mean pile drive her own head on it. Not an ounce of emotion. And I mean none. BélaKárolyi would try to coax some sort of emotion out of her from the side but she had an” I don’t have time to bleed” attitude. It was hard not to fall for her.

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