Well. It happened. I got accepted into grad school. Which is exciting - trust me it's REALLY exciting. But acceptance is a funny thing. Or "being accepted" is a funny thing. Not sure which one's funnier. Or not funny at all.
It's hard to do anything genuinely when you are only looking for an acceptance. The thing about acceptance is that it's always to someone else's standard. Let's talk about grad school - this school sets a standard, had a process, and I (applying) had to strive to meet that standard. I would hopefully pass it, and impress them enough to want me there.
While it’s acceptable to want to do well and in this case put effort and passion into presenting oneself for an educational opportunity, it’s kinda a dangerous way to live life.
There was a time - not so long ago - that my whole life was based off of being accepted by things/people. I don't just mean the occasional compliment or promotion but this never ending strive to be the best so that others "higher" than me would notice or give recognition. It was kinda gross. And it kinda made me a gross person.
When striving for acceptance life is viewed through a lens that only sees pass or fail and not the journey taken to get there. A life striving for acceptance lacks depth and stability – thus the dangerous part.
While I am proud of the opportunity to continue my education it’s not the whole of my past experience nor the strict indicator of where my future is headed.
Work hard. Be true. Dream Big. <- Things I tell myself often.
Have you ever found yourself being obsessed with being accepted? How did you find your way out? How do you stay grounded and stable?