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Obasanjo wants you to forget that Goodluck Jonathan was his gift to Nigeria

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300"] Olusegun Obasanjo, president of Nigeria, Brasília, 6 September 2005. Photographer: José Cruz/ABr. Deutsch: Nigerias Präsident Olusegun Obasanjo am 6. September 2005 in Brasília. Foto: José Cruz/ABr. Português: Brasília - Presidente da Nigéria, Olusegun Obasanjo fala durante almoço em sua homenagem, no Itamaraty. Foto: José Cruz/ABr. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)[/caption]

Goodluck Jonathan is Nigeria’s best loved president ever and a super successful anti-corruption crusader. You can’t argue with the facts! Since May 2011 President Jonathan has presided over an immensely successful period of Nigeria’s history that has seen us named by the Economist’s Economic Intelligence Unit as the worst place on earth to be born and declared by KPMG as the fraud capital of Africa. No one is more responsible for Jonathan’s unparalleled ‘successes’ than his political sugar daddy Olusegun Obasanjo. Obasanjo is a farmer and far too humble to take the credit for Jonathan’s success. He really should be a little less humble though.

Jonathan was 18 months into a rather unexpected and unremarkable stint as Governor of Bayelsa State when he was hand-picked by Obasanjo to run as the Vice-Presidential candidate of the PDP in the 2007 general election. Until then Jonathan had achieved remarkably little of note in his political career, by which I mean he had achieved precisely nothing. Goodluck Jonathan had been an unheralded and unknown Deputy Governor under Diepreye Alamieyeseigha, the kleptomaniac former governor who infamously fled prosecution in the UK disguised as an improbably unattractive woman.

An old copy of a pre-presidency Jonathan’s resume is floating around on the popular internet forum www.nairaland.com. It’s likely accurate and tallies with publicly available, non-hagiographical biographies of the President:

Now, 5 years after facilitating the improbably spectacular rise of an unprepared, poorly qualified Deputy Governor of a backwater state (no offence to Bayelsans) to Nigeria’s highest office, Obasanjo has not only fallen out with his protégé he’s now reportedly  moving to restrict Jonathan’s disastrous residency of the Aso Villa to a single term. Yes, after rigging a dying man into the presidency, creating a constitutional crisis that almost brought the nation to its knees and then introducing Nigeria to the twin virtues of good luck and patience, Olusegun Obasanjo is not quite finished with his unsolicited contributions to Nigerian politics. Wonderful.

April Fool’s Prank Of The Decade

On Flower Power

As I’m on a long-distance call with my parents, we discuss and share all the hilarious reactions to Turkish Officials blaming the power outage in 35 cities during election night on a cat. The headline at Huffington Post for the story is “Turkish Official Blames Election Night Power Outages On A Cat”. Who can take that seriously? I was couldn't keep quiet at the title alone. The electrical blackout spiraled the country that firmly believes in the possibility of change. Following that, officials had the audacity of holding an interfering cat liable. Energy Minister Taner Yildiz said on April 1, “A cat entered a power distribution unit. It was the cause of the blackout and it’s not the first time that it has happened.” The BBC listed the four top April Fools Day trends, of which one was Yildiz’s comment. As bizarre as it is to announce this on April fool’s and expecting listeners to believe it, he did. Congratulations, we had a great laugh at the comments and pictures accompanied by them. One user posted this picture of a cat besides requisite tools and said, “Just caught the cat.” My personal favorite, Erdocat. “The true leader of the lobby has been caught,” Tamer Abdelaal (@zanesfather) tweeted. @ODTUOgrencileri posted this one, translating “Look, this is the last time I’ll explain our plan.” Look some up yourself on Twitter under the hashtag #catlobby for English results, and #kedilobisi for Turkish ones. How fair can an election be, if ballot boxes suspiciously disappear, found burnt, and inconsistencies among the boxes and report sheets as well as in the computerization process? Fraud seems to be the accurate clarification. Many Turks, including myself, call for a recount. Opposition parties deposited to the higher election board (YSK) more than 2,000 appeals to recount suspicious boxes. In all seriousness, who can take Turkey’s authority figures seriously anymore? Blocking Twitter and YouTube in a so-called democratic country takes integrity away as it is (let alone granting access again after a two-week ban). Corruption sweeps across parliament would have crossed the line, you'd think. General tremble in the Erdogan circle would've been it. Along with the results of the local election everyone seems to be in disbelief. Erdogan’s political party is crumbling apart and serves nothing but smelly, rotten fish to its followers. There’s no trust to rely on, and he will be made fun of and revolted against until he understands the meaning of respect, transparency and democracy.

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