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I am now officially Dr. Dick Talens

I am now Dr. Dick Talens. (Doctor Dick has a really nice ring to it.)

You heard that right. Thanks to an honorary doctorate in "Drug and Alcohol Counseling" (See the irony here?) from my friends at the LADC, I can legitimately, legally, and officially, be called Dr. Dick Talens.

You might think I'm being silly. You might think that I'm trolling. (Hint: I'm always trolling.) But I'm going to make an argument for why, for the purposes of marketing, calling myself Dr. Dick Talens is no worse – and arguably better – than what occurs every single day both in the fitness industry and at most family practitioners' offices.

The "Dr." title is placed in front of someone's name in order to signal legitimacy as a highly-educated professional. There's nothing wrong with this; while the specifics depend on the field, you can generally assume that there was a decade of studying, research, and hands-on experience that was spent accomplishing this degree.

That being said, there are three observable phenomena that you should know about. While these don't apply to everyone, I believe that they apply to a majority of the population.

Why I Don't Drink

On Tynan

Recently a comment was posted where someone asked why I don't drink. I do seem to mention it in a number of posts, mostly those where I'm complaining how hard it is to find a girl who also doesn't drink, but I suppose I've never explained why. I also don't do drugs, smoke, or take medicine.

I've never had a drink in my life. I went to a private school in Andover, Massachusetts for middle school and I don't think anyone there drank. Maybe they did and I was blissfully ignorant. I remember one kid got caught for smoking and it was a huge controversy.

After middle school my family moved to Austin, Texas and I went to a public high school. My first day there I got lost and happened to have wandered behind the building. to my surprise there was a huge mass of kids smoking cigarettes and pot. One such kid, a Junior, picked me up and put me in a trash can.

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