I know what it's like to be overweight. Not only do people look at you, but you can actually feel their stares (along with the accompanying judgment).
It's an unfortunate truth that when someone is overweight, more often than not, others conclude that he/she is Lazy.
This also happens with ourselves and our own failures. How many times have we fallen off the wagon by binge eating or skipping a few workouts and felt remorse about our own Laziness?
I suspect that Laziness is the first culprit that comes to mind, because of two reasons:
- Laziness is an easy concept to comprehend.
- People love to judge others by nature.
In reality, we don't know why someone else may be overweight.
Perhaps they grew up in a poor neighborhood where cheap calories were plentiful and nutrition was scarce. Maybe they experienced the death of a loved one and turned to food for solace for years.
This isn't to say that each person shouldn't be responsible for their own health. We are all responsible for our health, even if arriving at the current state isn't necessarily our fault.
What I am saying, however, is that we cannot know anyone else's circumstance.
By assuming Laziness, we're implying that weight loss is simply exerting willpower. "Eat less and move more," you'll hear. Therefore, not doing so must be a moral failure. This is unfortunately reinforced by popular culture. After all, why couldn't this person, as Nike says, "Just Do It?"
Obesity and weight loss aren't so simple. After training more than 1,000 people and seeing countless successful transformations, I can tell you that Laziness--as we know it--is rarely the reason for failure.
But there is a type of "laziness" that is a common--perhaps the most common--cause of failure. It's a laziness of the mind.
There are people who come to me, because they are a prisoner of binge eating. For a subset of binge eaters, their problem is caused by excessive cardio. I tell them that they should cease cardio in the short term, and they respond with:
"What??? I can't give up cardio!"
Or consider the case of another client, let's call him Rob, who drank daily, which eventually led to him overeating on most days. When asking him questions to gently examine the reasons that he drank, he clammed up. Even when encouraging that he use a heavy dose of self-compassion when examining his problems, he was unable to.
This is the type of laziness that prevents people from succeeding. This laziness, in fact, is a form of fear. The fear of trying something new. The fear of examining yourself without judgment.
Only when we overcome this fear, can we finally discover what actually works in fitness (it isn't always what it seems), develop an honest understanding of ourselves, and finally conquer fitness.
One of the most common fears is asking for help. If you've tried everything before and it still doesn't work, consider signing up to train with me: http://dicktalens.com/private-