I go about my day, and usually something happens when I'll think, "I want to write about that!" However, at the end of the day, I knock-out out of exhaustion or because of the fact that it's probably 4 in the morning and I should go to bed soon. So, in the end, I never end up writing about what I wanted to write about.
So, this blog is kind of going to be snippets of thoughts that I've had and things that have happened that I want to share. I have a feeling that this kind of blog is going to happen often. However, I do have something I want to write about eventually.
But, let's start with the snippets first:
- There was one week towards the beginning of February when it kept on raining! You felt really lazy to do anything, and because I walk to get places, I really did not want to do anything. Plus, I had a bad quality umbrella, so it kept flipping upwards when it was too windy. Because it rained for an entire week, I couldn't go to the grocery store. I was either starving or I bought take-out. On the bright side, I didn't dip into my stash of ramen. Hahah. That's commendable, right?
- I saw The Lego Movie last weekend. Honestly, I was skeptical at first because the trailer didn't grab my attention. I questioned by Morgan Freeman was lending to such a movie. But, I take it all back.
I walked out of the theater thinking, "What did I just watch?" But, I completely recommend it.
And just because I wanted to share it, here is a link to a YouTube video of a soundtrack from the movie, "Everything is Awesome".
(Don't hate me if you get annoyed of the song).
- And... that's all I could think of. I swear I had more things when I started writing this post. I probably just forgot...
Anyway, let's switch gears.
So, last Friday was Valentine's Day. Some people really love this day because of obvious reasons. Some people that are single hate the day because it is a reminder that they are single. For me, Valentine's Day was always a neutral day. I enjoyed it because I remember giving my classmates candy and they would give me candy. Then, we would read the tacky Sweethearts messages and say them to each other. So, Valentine's Day was never a bad day.
And I've always thought of it as a celebration of love. I sent some Valentine's Day cards to my family, my nephew, and my closest friends. To tell them that I appreciate them.
But, this year, Valentine's Day felt a little different.
This year, I actually felt... kind of... alone.
To be honest, I don't really remember much of what I did last Friday. I went into work at 10am, said hi to everyone. I remember apologizing to some of coworkers because I didn't own anything pink or red. Then, I went to class. After class, I went to work on a problem set. I remember that my friend and I were really overwhelmed by the problem set and we gave up. (I eventually finished the problem set--like the good student that I am).
Then, what did I do? Hmmm... it must have been uneventful. But, I don't think my point is what I did, but how I felt.
I think, everyone around me had significant others or crushes to spend time with that night. One of my roommates has a boyfriend, and they're really cute together. And I think, though I don't know for sure, my other roommate has a crush on a guy in her Pre-Law fraternity. One of my closest friends recently got a boyfriend, like 4 weeks ago.
[This is the first time in a long time where both of us were not single during Valentine's Day.]
Even though I may be too young to worry about this, I must admit that I think I'm going to end up alone for the rest of my life. I totally understand the hashtag: #foreveralone.
And honestly, I think it's because of me, of who I am as a person and my past. I haven't dated much, especially not in college. I am completely oblivious when guys like me. And I think I have unrealistic crushes and expectations. Plus, from an objective point of view, I'm not all that attractive either.
As I've said before, I'm a romantic at heart. So, I still have some inkling of hope that the right person will magically appear in my life and I will just know. But, life isn't really like that.
Over the years, I've learned--from people that are really in love--that love is not always what you see in the movies (though, there may be parts that look like it). It's not going to be perfect, and you make compromises. But, it's all worth it in the end, when you have someone that will always be there for you and love you just the way you are.
I know someone that has been married for 12 years, and every time she speaks of her husband, she... for lack of better words, says his name in awe. Like he still gives her butterflies, even if he's not there. I want that kind of love.
So, what should I do now? I am not really the type of person that would put myself out there. I kind of believe that relationships grow out of friendships.
Which makes me think that I've already met the person I'm supposed to be with...
But, anyway... I don't know. I guess, as of now, I'm still young. I should figure out who I am and what I'm going to do before I start to worry about being with someone.
I really only had these thoughts because of Valentine's Day, but honestly, I'm completely fine with being single.... maybe...
Wow, this blog post is a little more sentimental than I thought it was going to turn out. But, how was your Valentine's Day? How did you spend it? Did you have the same or similar feelings that I did? If you did, what did you do about it? Or, did you celebrate the day with loved ones and friends?
Thanks for getting to the bottom. Until next time!
Over and out.