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Putting Mindfulness Into Practice

I listened to this story and thought what a bold mistake but what I found the most admirable was the way he was able to admit his huge mistake. Pride gets in the way of  resolution and tends to make situations worse.  I have put a lot of self-improvement mindfulness on the back burner.  I understand mindfulness can only be practiced if it is intentional.  What has become a habit in the last few months is my ability to look outward and point a finger at external factors for causing my negative or positive attitude. If I am sad it tends to be because someone or something is making me sad.  In passed months, my happiness could only be brought on by something external therefore it was considered "situational happiness."  I quickly forget my happiness can only be created within myself.  

The last couple weeks have really opened me up.  The vulnerability I have been feeling has brought me to tears on average once a day.   This morning I fell back into hold habits.  I was put in a situation created only in my mind rather then the reality.  The scene was silly, almost trivial but it domino-ed into the lives of others and affected the emotions of every person within proximity.  I saw how my poor attitude caused others to step on eggshells around me and in turn made it hard to communicate their needs to me.  Being out of practice, of what is considered common courtesy to most, is a harsh reality for me.  Here are a few of my daily reminders to maintain mindfulness in my relationships. 

1. Don't project your feelings.  A common maneuver when I know I've done something childish and don't want to admit it. 

Treating Strangers like Friends

On Tynan

When you travel with someone for a year or two, you pick up their habits. One of Todd's habits that I most admire, and am thankful to have picked, up is the practice of treating strangers like friends. When he goes to a restaurant and the waiter asks him how he is, he tells him what's going on in his life and returns the question in such a way that it obligates a genuine response. When we leave a restaurant, everyone we know gets a hug.

I get nostalgic, mostly for times I wasn't alive for. Like the middle ages. And, more relevantly, like the days before computers and cell phones, when neighbors actually recognized each other, and maybe even talked to each other. Shopkeepers were called shopkeepers, and they knew their customers by name. Their conversations extended beyond a scripted sales pitch for a rip-off extended warranty. I miss these times because I've seen them in movies and read about them in books, not because I've really experienced them.

Simple habits can be profound. One such habit that is more important than ever is to treat strangers like friends. Facebook, cell phones, and other "social" technologies have done to friendship what laminate flooring did for hardwood floors. It made things easier and more accessible, but did so at the cost of substance. In fact, this is happening in pretty much every area of life, something I've realized more fully now that I'm trying to find meat with substance; it's almost impossible. So I try to treat everyone as though they're a real person, just in case they actually are. Unfortunately I can't answer all my email anymore, but when I do I try to write to the person as if they're my friend, rather than use stock replies (which I could do, since a lot of the things people write about are similar). Once in a while I even fill someone in on secret future plans or send them a draft of something. When interacting with random people in everyday life, I make an effort to actually listen to them and to talk about things that they may not have talked about with every person they've interacted with that day.